Ed Driscoll

Headless Body Near Hopeless City

“Headless, Handless Body Found In Car Submerged In Detroit River,” CBS-Detroit reports:

A mystery is unfolding in Wyandotte (about 11 miles south of Detroit) where a man’s body was found in a car submerged in the Detroit River — and it may have been there for nine years.

Wyandotte Police James Inspector James Pouliot said a recreational diver spotted the body Thursday in the sunken car near Waterfront Park and the Wyandotte Boat Club at Pine and Jefferson Avenue.

“We called the dive team in; recovered the vehicle out of the water. There was a body in the backseat of the vehicle,” he said.

Pouliot said the body was badly decomposed, leading them to believe it has been in the water for years.

Considering that “Detroit’s homicide rate is higher than the country of Colombia,” according to Michigan Live (and there’s an ironic name for a Website, at least in this case), I’m surprised there aren’t more reports of bodies being pulled from the Detroit River; perhaps, like Chicago’s soaring murder rate, they’re simply taken for granted these days in America’s deep blue alcoves.

(Headline inspired by Vinnie Musetto, who was dropped from his post-retirement freelance gig this week by the New York Post, despite having written the Greatest Headline in Newspaper History for the paper.)