Dear Prime Minister Berlusconi,
Calling on George Clooney as a witness to save you from charges of nailing anything leggy in a skirt? That’s like me bringing up W.C. Fields as a character witness at a DUI hearing.
Next time, may I suggest you subpoena someone slightly more believable? Maybe Andy Dick or Paul Lynde or that guy from the old Isuzu commercials? Remember him, always getting caught in those bald-faced lies? Wasn’t he just hysterical?
What I’m saying is, sir, you might want to dazzle ‘em with BS, since Clooney is going to hurt your case — a lot.
Oh, and as a public service to my readers, I’ve included a picture here of one of George’s many leggy girlfriends, since otherwise they might not have any clue what we’re talking about. Public service, really. Folks can even click-to-embiggen, if you totally get what I mean.
Anyway, best of luck at your trial, and try not to get caught actually doing it with any of your defense team or witnesses or jurors or anything, OK?