Dear Mr. President,
You can’t create any jobs. And talking constantly about jobs you can’t create makes you look ineffective — so let’s cut that out before we even get started, OK?
But the private sector, the real economy, can and will create jobs. All you have to do is… sit there. Stop taxing, stop regulating, and stop imposing. Just get out of the way, and, to put it in language you’ll understand, you’ll see a thousand flowers bloom.
Then I suppose you can get back to screwing everything up.
Yours,
-Steve.
Jobs for the unskilled won’t pay as well as they once did. Jobs for the faux skilled will be harder to find since they have proven themselves unnecessary. Jobs for the skilled will remain, but be harder to get even for the qualified and experienced since the unemployed are willing to take what they can get.
Joblessness is the (early, but it’s not going to go away) focus of the 2010 election. The government hasn’t changed much in the past ten years, so taxes and regulation isn’t so much the issue as is the vast overspending of idiotic Americans and their idiotic government having the bills come due. The housing bubble burst, the government bubble is still growing, and the private debt bubble is still growing as well. Massive consumerism is the only thing that will bring back most of the jobs, but too many Americans have already been on that rollercoaster ride and just need to sit and rest for a bit right now.
Stephen,
I wish I’d have thought of such a letter. I could have saved myself from banging my head against the wall every day since January 20.
You need to rifle that off to the House and Senate while you’re at it. This is a three partner tango.
“The government hasn’t changed much in the past ten years”
Stop it Jon. You’re beclowning yoursel.. seriously.
To: Steve Green aka Vodkapundit
From: POTUS (Executive Branch Inner Dialog Division)
Subject: Pointing out the obvious
Dear Steve,
You don’t really think that I care about your employment status one way or another do you? I mean, just think about it for a second. If you are working in the private sector at a job that you like and you are able to pay your bills and you can do as you please, when you please, for as long as you please, wheres the fun in that for a guy like me?
In the big political-food-chain-circle-of-life, I depend directly on your dependency for my very existence. When you get right down to it, its not my job to remove barriers to your liberty, its my job to erect them. Remember that the cool thing about being a politician is the way I get to create these half baked political constructs like TARP, which then allows me to take public credit for “Doing Something” and then I get to blame all of you when it all goes predictably badly in the end. Are you actually surprised that removing 787 BILLION DOLLARS from the private sector has frozen private sector economic activity? Really? Dude, that wasn’t an accidental secondary effect, THAT WAS THE GOAL!
And it worked too, didn’t it? The only part of the economy that is growing takes place in the District of Columbia, which now might as well be called “Democrat City”. Game.Set.Match. We beat you before you guys even got out on the field and now we own the place.
Look at all the time I’m spending on “Health Care Reform” even when we are at 10.2% unemployed (and growing!) . Now, you folks out in the private sector have this knee jerk “Is this really the best time to be working on this?” reaction but think about it for a second. Do you really think there is one scintilla of “reform” in any of this half assed jibberish that’s being bantered about on Capital Hill? Come on man, do you really think I care about keeping people healthy any more than I care about their ability to work in the private sector?
No. I couldnt care less in fact in the interest of Zero Population Growth, what the hell do I care if people live well or not? Less people, more room for gazelles I say and who doesnt like gazelles?
What I do care about is making the entire US population dependent for their very lives directly on the Democratic Party. You think the changing the Social Security System is a “third rail”? Just wait till we control all access to even the most basic health care. Wait till we start to mandate weight loss programs and start “The War on Diabetes, Deep Vein Thrombosis and Unsafe Sex”. Dude, I get a woody just thinking about how we are going to screw with every aspect of your lives every minute of every day. You wont be able to buy so much as a candy bar without a government voucher.
What’s even more cool than that is that this little agenda will finally allow us to destroy any pretense of US Defense spending, once and for all. We will finally be rid of that little pebble in our shoe. Once the US population has to choose between grandma getting hip replacements and having a “two ocean Navy”, you just watch how fast the US gets a military that’s smaller than most countries Coast Guards. That’s a good thing, dontcha think? Don’t you want to see all that wasted money being spent on maintaining 10 Navy Carrier battle groups being spent on inner city immunization programs? Well I do! Remember “Millions for defense, and not once cent for tribute”? From now on it will be “Millions for after school lunches, not one cent for amphibious landing craft”. Remember all those “It will be a great day when the Air Force has to have a bake sale to buy a bomber” bumper stickers? That day is coming my friend. ( damn, thats two woodies in one email! You know, sometimes I even amaze myself.)
Look, if people manage to take care of themselves, then what will I do? You cant expect me to set up some sort of scheme that will cause millions of lobbyists and government workers to be forced into finding real jobs do you? Trust me, I know people that work in the private sector and let me tell you that unlike working in government, those people actually expect results.
Yours Truly,
The Man
Actually this letter should be addressed to every politician.