Coming Soon
All the Christmas prep got the best of me these last few days, but they’ve been good ones. And with that lame excuse, I’ll officially begin my Christmas vacation. I’ll check in from time to time over the next five days, if something big enough breaks.
Merry Christmas and a Happy Chanukah to all.
One last thing. Assuming I can get online from the hospital, I’ll be liveblogging the birth sometime in the next four-to-14 days. That is, assuming Melissa doesn’t break all my fingers in the process.
UPDATE: Wow. I figured all you parents out there would know I was joking about the liveblogging. Melissa won’t let me even think about picking up the camera during the delivery – much less the laptop. Then there’s that time-management issue. Of course, I will post pictures at the first opportunity, after we’ve caught up on sleep. So expect to see those sometime around kindergarten.
liveblogging a birth..?
That’s gotta be a first.
Good luck, man, and feel free to mail me a cigar or two. (Good luck to the wife too)
That would take some doing. I could scarcely remember to take pictures, much less manage to write coherently.
Steve,
Best wishes to you and the fair Melissa. You can just e-mail me a cigar. If you find the time. Watching your child be born is a truly unforgettable and deeply moving experience.
Heh, that’s some faith in the “due date.” When my wife gave birth the second time two years ago two days after Christmas, the delivery guy delivered my hoagie at the very moment the midwife started urging my wife to push.
So, yes, of course I ate the hoagie. The first birth I was hungry the entire time…
…You might want to pack a bag lunch, though. My wife was only sort of amused.
Best of luck to you and the missus, Steve. Make sure to take your martini makings…
Don’t giver her the whole hand to squeeze.
Just 2 fingers.
Really.
1. When she looks at you and says something to the effect of “I can’t fucking stand this any more,” you better have your your catcher’s mitt packed.
2. When she’s exhausted and feeling hopeless, remind her that every contraction she has is one less than it’s going to take to birth this baby. Every contraction is progress, every one.
3. Melissa is about to show you what she’s made of. Don’t worry about blogging. Just pay attention, and never forget.
Bless the three of you, and Merry Christmas!
Yours/
peter.
Tell Melissa that while contractions hurt like hell, it’s not a lingering pain. During the contraction: pain. In between: nothing, and I mean it — nothing. It’s really amazing, like a light switch for excruciating pain. My point is, take advantage of the lulls and rest — it is possible to rest deeply in 10 or 15 seconds.
All women forget labor pains once it’s over. We have to, otherwise every one of us would be an only child, and the human race would’ve died out eons ago.
Good luck with everything, Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah, and all the best in the New Year.
It’s here already????!
Wow, that went fast.
God speed to her.
Congratulations, VP.
You’re getting some good advice here, and I hope you’ll read between the lines. Don’t even think of live- or post-blogging this event. While we’re all happy for the two of you, the experience you’re about to enjoy is strictly between you. I love my wife completely, yet in our 25 years together, I never loved her more than during the moments she was delivering our children. The world doesn’t need to hear the details.
The common thinking is that women are the “fairer” sex, but you’re about to see just how wrong that is. My wife, 21 years later, still complains to me about the onions I had on a burger during her 28 hours of labor. Do everything you can to make her more comfortable–even those things that otherwise wouldn’t bother her.
Congratulations. Your lives will now start to get interesting and rewarding.
Tip: As soon as the nurses do their two-minutes of business with the baby, horn in on them and then you get to hold the baby for the first half hour of its life while they take care of your wife. Don’t miss it.
Although your take on the labor, birth, and hospital goings-on would undoubtedly be a great read, I have to concur with other commentors – focus on your wife and child. Let someone else work so you can soak up every single moment. An illustration: My daughter was born in April, and we did the cord blood banking thing. Only problem was I got to do the packaging of the sample – the delivery room folks got the blood into the little bag and tied it off, but I had to package it and call the courier. I should have done what I encourage you to do – delegate! Let someone else handle details – you soak yourself in being a father (and think Holy crap, I’m a father! AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHGGGGG!)
Man, you have an understanding wife.
Wishing you 10 fingers, 10 toes and a kid that sleeps through the night at 6 weeks old!
Steve, I think there a couple of Time-Life children’s series you may like. I’ll give you a call.
“After we’ve caught up on sleep”?
I guess we’ll see those pictures in 2009.
(Noted by a father of 5-year old twin boys.)
I’m going to make my kid’s favorite dish tonight: Melissa’s Lasagna, in honour of you both.
Pregnancies are a marathon, and you two are about to cross the finish line and …… discover what comes next! Bwahahaha!
Serious good luck to you.
FD
PS I suppose I could sip a martini in your honour too, without offending anyone.
If you can’t liveblog, you can always do what Sting did in “Bring On The Night”: hire a documentary crew and director to film the birth. I’m sure Melissa won’t mind the hot lights, the guy with the microphone boom, and the rest of the 15-man crew…
Seriously though–good luck to you both.
Merry Christmas and a Happy Chanukah!
My little angel came three weeks early on Nov 6. Haven’t slept since! May God bless you and keep you!
My hospital advice: no one gives a sh*t about the feelings of the father. Hungry, tired, feeling left out? Keep it to yourself because there
Many congratulations on this unbelievable event…in place of your hand, might I suggest the handles on the hospital bed…one, they are made of indestructible plastic and can handle the abuse your wife will put them through, and two, your hands will be needed to help with the delivery.
The moment I was handed my daughter, I realized I was the luckiest man in the world…enjoy, it will go so fast…
All the best to you and Melissa Steve. May the universe deliver unto you a happy and healthy child.
Have a great Choliday and we’ll see you when we see you.
No Cameras Please
The Vodkapundit family is about to spawn. Those who thought that Stephen was serious about liveblogging the event must not be married.
Can’t wait for the pictures! Of the baby, not the birth.
Stephen,
Merry Christmas and best wishes for the birth of your first child to both you and Melissa!
I know people who hire vidiographers to tape the event, you could hire one of your blog buddies to do the same. Not that I would read it. Being part of two births is enough for me.
Fresh baby photos are always welcome.
I have one my son took of my grandson as the doctor pulled him up and out by his feet [Cesarean section]. The baby hadn’t even taken his first breath.
My advice is to go alone with your wife to the hospital and only phone the relatives when it’s over. They are useless during the event and might be total asses to you.
I couldn’t tell from your update, but I hope you are bringing a camera into the delivery room. There are no better pictures of any man than when he is holding his newborn baby. Just have the camera set on “auto” and hand it to a nurse.
And even though I didn’t exactly look my best, I still like the pictures of the first time I saw our daughter up close.
But I agree as far as no pictures while the actual delivery is going on.