Yellow Alert

You realize, of course, this means war:

Recent communications between Usama bin Laden and Abu Musab al-Zarqawi indicate that bin Laden has “encouraged Zarqawi and his group to focus on attacks inside the United States,” multiple U.S. officials told FOX News on Monday.

The sources would not get into detail about how the communication was made or how it was intercepted by the United States. They also said that there is nothing specific in the message, such as maps or references to particular cities or buildings. Rather, the communication simply encourages a “focus” on attacks inside U.S. borders, sources said.

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Well, duh — we’ve been at war with these jokers for a decade now. That’s not what’s interesting.

What’s interesting is, the dual messages Osama is sending. Allow me to translate his reported request to Zarqawi:

Hey, pal. Peace be unto you and all that. Now listen up. The Americans have just about run my group into the ground. Most of my people are rounded up or martyred, our sanctuary is gone, and it’s getting tougher and tougher to recruit new kids. Well, I don’t have to tell you about that last one, do I?

Anyway, it’s not like we here at al Qaeda are going to be doing anything big over in America any time soon. And let’s be honest: Your gang is hurting the Movement over in Iraq. You just don’t know how to get people on your side. But you are good at killing — so why not do a little less killing of our brothers in Iraq, and concentrate on killing heathens in America?

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Allow me to translate that even more: We’re winning, kids.

We’re winning.

UPDATE: Jeff has more, that brainwave-sucking bastard.

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