Hard News
June 22nd, 2004 - 10:32 pm
The latest political story parody from The Onion:
Trying to erase the image of her husband as aloof, Teresa Heinz Kerry yesterday insisted Sen. John F. Kerry [related, bio] “likes people” and went so far as to say he would make a great nursery school teacher.
“He actually does feel at ease in the world,” Heinz Kerry said.
“He likes people, in spite of whatever people might think. He’d make the best nursery school teacher in the world, bar none.”
I’m kidding, of course — that excerpt is from a “legit” Boston Herald story.
From the article…
What is with the continuing gratuitous Vietnam references?! Now Teresa’s doing it, too? This makes it look even more like an Onion parody – Vietnam as it relates to nursery school.
Kerry’s starting to remind me of Walter Sobchak from The Big Lebowski. I can’t wait for him to start pulling veterans who disagree with him off their wheelchairs.
This is simply a disengenious statement. Taken literally, this means we would never go to war in any circumstance since he would not send men into battle unless he led the charge. Maybe Kerry will take us back to the days of the warrior king.
Ahh, yes, Kerry would make a good nursery school teaacher, where he could gently inform all the children of what is right and wrong, how to treat each other with dignity and respect, and why it is important to have the pre-approval of France, Germany and Russia before venturing out into the big, scary, dangerous world.
Yeah, could you imagine Bush doing that? With his serious inability to distinguish lawful and unlawful behaviour in a big, scary, dangerous world.
Children in combat? Are we going to establish the Kerry Youth wing of the US Army? Well at least when we send the kiddie-corps into battle Kerry himself will be leading from the bow of his ship.
Oh my god…do these people even think about what they’re saying when they’re in public?
Haha, nice. “I have just been authorized by the Senator’s legal advisors to say that he is in fact approachable and in touch with the common man, and that anyone who would like to see this for themselves is welcome to schedule a meeting with one of his staff spokesmen”
This reminds me of a recent joint appearance of Kerry and Hillary at a school, where Hillary had to keep reminding Kerry to turn the picture book to the children while he was reading to them. Best Nursery School Teacher bar none? Puullleeeze!
He certainly could lull the children to sleep with one of his ending campaign speeches…
Oh, he can distinguish, TOE. He just doesn’t much care. You hate that about him and I love it, but there it is.
Told once (can’t remember the context, sorry) that he might be violating international law, he chuckled. “International law? Gee. I’d better call my lawyer.”
Kerry leading a squad of nursery school children on the attack against insensitivity and injustice? That’s too rich!
Hey Teresa! After he loses the election, do you still want him to teach nursery school?
He’s let the little kids rip his fake face off.
Now we need someone to paste Kerry’s face into the scene in Return of the King where Aragorn gives the speech in front of the Black Gate.
To: JPS
It’s not only international law he doesn’t care about. Torture is forbidden according to US law.
A pragmatical approach with respect to that is: Take what the US government thinks is right and apply it to US citizens living in other states.
Surely you can’t argue against that.
“Addressing terrorism, she said, “We’re not going to fight terrorism with missiles, we’re going to fight terrorism with ideas. And I think that John knows that, deep down.” ”
Well that’s gotta have Osama shaking in his boots.
“It’s not only international law he doesn’t care about. Torture is forbidden according to US law.”
Which is why the people responsible are now awaiting trial or in jail. Did you even bother to read the documents released regarding administration policy on prisoner treatment? Do you even bother paying attention to what’s going on?
But it’s always easier to just spout off nonsense as long as it supports your position, right?
“Surely you can’t argue against that.”
Didn’t intend to, though I can see how my comment could have been taken that way. (Oops.)
I read (misread?) you as referring to the foreign policy of the U.S. as a whole, and not specifically to torture. Mike M’s answer on that point is a good one.
Laugh it up folks, but when this loser is POTUS, his inability to lead worth shit isn’t going to seem so funny…
“Which is why the people responsible are now awaiting trial or in jail. Did you even bother to read the documents released regarding administration policy on prisoner treatment? Do you even bother paying attention to what’s going on?”
I can see as well as you where the buck stopped and who is awaiting trial. You think you got all the right ones and there is none of importance missing?
Reason #453 to vote for Bush. Teresa Heinz will be kept far away from the WH.