Not only did the original “underwear bomber” Abdullah Hassan al-Asiri hide explosives in his rectum to assassinate Saudi Prince Muhammad bin Nayef—they met in 2009 after the 22-year-old Asiri “feigned repentance for his jihadi views“—but this “holy-warrior” apparently had fellow jihadists repeatedly sodomize him to “widen” his anus to fit the explosives—and all in accordance with the fatwas of Islamic clerics.
 Abdullah Hassan al-Asiri |
A 2010 Arabic news video that aired on Fadak TV gives the details. Apparently a cleric, one Abu al-Dema al-Qasab, informed al-Asiri and other jihadis of an “innovative and unprecedented way to execute martyrdom operations: place explosive capsules in your anus. However, to undertake this jihadi approach you must agree to be sodomized for a while to widen your anus so it can hold the explosives.”
Others inquired further by asking for formal fatwas. Citing his desire for “martyrdom and the virgins of paradise,” one jihadi (possibly al-Asiri himself) asked another sheikh, “Is it permissible for me to let one of the jihadi brothers sodomize me to widen my anus if the intention is good?”
After praising Allah, the sheikh’s fatwa began by declaring that sodomy is forbidden in Islam,
However, jihad comes first, for it is the pinnacle of Islam, and if the pinnacle of Islam can only be achieved through sodomy, then there is no wrong in it. For the overarching rule of [Islamic] jurisprudence asserts that ‘necessity makes permissible the prohibited.’ And if obligatory matters can only be achieved by performing the prohibited, then it becomes obligatory to perform the prohibited, and there is no greater duty than jihad. After he sodomize s you, you must ask Allah for forgiveness and praise him all the more. And know that Allah will reward the jihadis on the Day of Resurrection, according to their intentions—and your intention, Allah willing, is for the victory of Islam, and we ask that Allah accept it of you.
Like left/libtards, anything for the cause… as long as it’s fun.
oh god, oh god, i can barely type, i just cant stop laughing
Somehow ” necessity knows no law” was more
comforting coming from the spiked helmet crowd.
Had more class anyway….
I heard a totally credible rumor from my cousin’s college roommate’s barber that at their secret meetings Scientologists throw doggie treats at a big picture of the prophet Mohammed, and they believe that all Muslims smell like bacon.
I also heard a rumor that I’m sure is 100% true from my chiropractor’s astrologer’s Indian tech support guy that the reason all Muslims have to visit Mecca is because that’s where they write libelous (and legally actionable) stories about L. Ron Hubbard being a low rent con man.
I’m just glad that Scientology and Islam are such forgiving, peaceful religions. Otherwise, there could be trouble.
I am Cornholio! I need TNT for my bunghole!
And for the win!
Seriously, though, they have GOT to be $#@%ing kidding…
Good one, Major Major!
One might be forgiven for wanting to play with al-Asiri’s surname….
This gives new meaning to: The ‘ends’ justify the means.
Now that’s taking one for the team.
Yes, yes I know, the god is greatest!
Now this one made my eyes water I’m laughing so hard!
Etymology of the term “Allah Ackbar!”.
more proof to the old adage, the biggest A hole wins
This islamic ideology is just sick. Anything goes as long as you kill non-muslims. It’s like the nazi officers “I was only following orders” cop out. When this dude stands before God to give account of his miserable useless life he’s big-time doomed.
had Abdullah exploded and taken a lot of other lives with him, for 1001 nights, and all eternity thereafter, the tale of his sodomitic episodes would be woven and elaborated and refined down to their every last sordid and delectably gory and bloody detail, to be relished by all in the new caliphate to come.
Barney Frank just converted to Islam.
Barney? Really? Who’s paying? They’re gonna love him, up there. – The virgins are safe!
The most absurd satire we can come up with about these folks cannot match reality.
Life In an Underwear Bomber Camp on Satirewire:
http://www.satirewire.com/content1/?p=4230
Bottom story of the day.
Aw Geez! I had to read this right after finishing my lunch, owwwww I gotta go worship the porcelain goddess. Owwwwww
But why is it necessary to use a man’s penis? Why not an inanimate inflatable butt plug? They make those you know. They work better for anus dilation than rigid human shafts with fixed diameters. Bigger dilation = more explosives capacity = more dead infidels = what Muhammed wants.
So really the cleric dropped the ball with this advice.. Unless the use of bloodthirsty rage taken in the name of a false god is simply a beard for hot gay sex.
Naw — none of that. They’re just trying to mix a little pleasure with work. If you’re gonna go with a bang, better have your fun first. Honestly – fact imitating fiction – couldn’t make this stuff up if you tried!
Old joke
May I have Abdullah’s room when he blows up?
Future intelligence operations will much, much easier, I can tell you that.
But for now, you can do your part as a citizen. See a suspicious person?
Just yell “Hey sailor, you buyin’ or sellin’?”, and report the results.
bunch of idiots
The next time some yahoo tries to tell you there is little difference between islam and Christianity…
How sweet. Islam and homosexuality can come together (pun intended) for a common cause…killing. And the left bemoans Christian morality?
Where does Allah stand on lube? Never mind, I don’t wanna know!
Holy Crap!!!! Literally…
Islam is already cool with paedophilia (the prophets 9 year old bride) and necrophilia (post mortem conjugal rights) so this cannot come as much of a surprise.
Only now do we realize the full meaning of the Taliban leader’s recent boast, “out of every madrassa [Islamic school] pupil, a Taliban fighter will emerge”.