The old saying goes that a grand jury could indict a ham sandwich. In reality, it’s worse.
Forget innocuous sandwiches, with or without Russian dressing. In Texas, at least in Austin’s Travis County, you can indict the state’s governor, Rick Perry, for doing the job any intelligent citizen would want him to do — trying to get rid of an absolutely atrocious public official.
That official was District Attorney Rosemary Lehmberg, a dimwitted and abusive drunk driver who ran that county’s — wait for it — “Public Integrity Unit.” Perry threatened to veto funding for said unit as long as Lehmberg was in control. Maybe he had a little actual concern for public integrity — not that the good burghers of Austin would care. Perry’s fortunate Lehmberg wasn’t found guilty of DUW (driving under weed) rather than alcohol, as she was. Given the preferred lifestyle thereabouts, they would have erected a statue to her and summarily sent Perry off to Guantanamo without trial to be swapped out for the last remaining al Qaeda maniacs.
(In case, you’re one of the 12 people left who hasn’t seen the video of Lehmberg’s DUI booking, it’s an eye-roller. You can find it here. Even more of an eye-roller are these dashboard videos of the DA’s arrest.)
Oh, Orwell, where art thou?
Scratch that — Orwell was far too subtle a writer to populate Animal Farm with nincompoops on the level of Lehmberg, the “special prosecutor” operating a rinky-dink Star Chamber at her request or even the know-nothing hypocrites in a local watchdog group defending her with that equally Orwellian name “Texans for Public Justice.” (Doesn’t that just sound like it’s from the wrong side of High Noon?)
But wait. Nothing’s ever as bad as it seems — i.e., we’re in the last scene of Dr. Strangelove and Slim Pickens has just climbed atop the bomb.
Already David Axelrod, of all people, has taken to Twitter to defend Perry, writing “Perry indictment looks pretty sketchy.” (I’ll say!) Since Axelrod is Obama’s chief campaign honcho, what’s up with that?
Well, it’s one of two things. Either Axelrod has recently had a lobotomy or the Democrats are worried the Travis County clowns have overreached and are fouling things up for 2016. I’ll go with the latter. In fact, I’ll go so far as to say they overreached big time and handed both Perry and Republicans in general a club to hit them with.