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by
Bryan Preston

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July 31, 2014 - 12:39 pm
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I watched the universal premiere of Sharkado 2: The Second One on SyFy Wednesday night.

Don’t judge, especially if you watch Keeping Up With the Kardashians or Here Comes Honey Boo Boo. Or any of those bachelor, bachelorette or dating shows. Or any reality TV, really. You’re in no position to judge anything that anyone else watches.

S2TS1 might not be the greatest movie ever. It might even be two hours of my life that to my regret I’ll never get back. If SyFy follows its usual pattern, even if you missed the premiere you still have 17 trillion chances to see it. SyFy will air the thing on a loop until the end of all time and space, when the Big Bang falls into a Big Crunch and we start all over again.

When you watch Sharknado 2, and you inevitably will, here are the five greatest things to look out for in S2TS1.

1. S2TS1 wastes absolutely no time on story.

Literally seconds into the film, star Ian Ziering (whose character’s name is still “Fin”) sees a shark in a cloud backlit by lightning. What follows is a fun riff on the old Twilight Zone episode in which a young William Shatner sees a gremlin on the wing of an airliner, but nobody believes him. Ziering has his own Nightmare at 20,000 Feet, then, because of all the sharks, has to reprise Robert Hayes’ role in Airplane! I’m not even kidding.

SPOILER ALERT: New York’s anti-gun policies end up helping the sharks. But as they say, only criminals have guns under strict gun control. That turns out to be a minor side plot in S2TS1. I’m not kidding.

All Comments   (10)
All Comments   (10)
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my buddy's ex-wife makes $75 every hour on the laptop . She has been laid off for seven months but last month her pay check was $18875 just working on the laptop for a few hours. Look At This.
⇛⇛⇛⇛⇛⇛⇛⇛⇛⇛⇛ www.jobsfish.com
11 weeks ago
11 weeks ago Link To Comment
Tara Reid's lank, sickly looking hair was so distracting. Otherwise, I'm proud of myself for predicting the "engagement ring" thing.
12 weeks ago
12 weeks ago Link To Comment
You could go the whole other extreme with regard to body type and cast Kim Kardashian in Mudsharknato (S3).
12 weeks ago
12 weeks ago Link To Comment
Why did they make a Sharknado sequel before the superior Sharktopus got one?
12 weeks ago
12 weeks ago Link To Comment
If a slightly portly Bruce Campbell isn't in it, did it really happen on SyFy channel? I give SFC props for doing B movies, someone has to. It's a paycheck and a chance to practice for all concerned without having to go all in on a 9 figure megaflop. Now if they'd just mine the Hugo and Nebula winners of times past...
12 weeks ago
12 weeks ago Link To Comment
Mother of God, make it stop. Where will it end? Flying Velociraptors with laser eyes?
12 weeks ago
12 weeks ago Link To Comment
11 weeks ago
11 weeks ago Link To Comment
I seem to be suffering from PTSD * today ...

*Post Traumatic Sharknado Disorder
12 weeks ago
12 weeks ago Link To Comment
OK, time to cause trouble.

What about S3?

1) Let Tara Reid reprise the part she had in a really good movie: "The Big Lebowskinado", wherein the tornado hits a bowling alley and spends the rest of the movie throwing bowling balls at the writers, producers and directors of the movie.

2) One guaranteed to please: "Bureaucratnado", wherein the tornado writhes its way around DC, spitting out lawyers, lobbyists, bureaucrats and even the occasional Senator, to the collective delight of the Civilized World.

3) A 2fer! Bring back Samuel L. Jackson for a combined sequel: "Snakenado" or "Sharks on a Plane"!!

4) Finally, let's go for the gusto!

"GODZILLANADO"!!

Can't you just hear the critics rave?

No?

Shucks.
12 weeks ago
12 weeks ago Link To Comment
There is an inherent risk of Sharknado fatique setting in with an S3
12 weeks ago
12 weeks ago Link To Comment
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