Why do moms with kids in elementary school hate Valentine’s Day? Let me count the ways. Elementary schools have Valentine’s Day parties where cards are exchanged between all members of the class. First, moms have to travel to the store and purchase boxes of cards. If you’re not super organized and you don’t get to the store early enough, you end up with the dregs, the cards that no little kid wants to give or receive. One year all I could find was a super creepy Chinese knockoff of Ken and Barbie. Not my best year.
These days candy has somehow crept into the yearly Valentine’s Day card offering, so if you don’t have cards with candy attached your child may burst into hysterical tears. Nobody wants to be seen as the lame kid in class who doesn’t offer candy. I have friends who spend the night before Valentine’s Day frantically attaching candy to cards with scotch tape.
But wait, there’s more to do. Moms have to fill out the cards for each child in the classroom, after they procure the list from the teacher, and heaven help you if you misspell or forget one. At one point I had three children in elementary school and that equaled around 78 cards filled out, by hand, for Valentine’s Day. If you’re an especially dedicated mom you make your child sign his or her name to the cards, which is difficult and stressful to the child. They can burst into tears when they have to sign their name to the classroom bully’s card, or to a secret crush. Their little hands get tired. Any moms want to admit they signed Valentine’s Day cards using a forgery of their child’s handwriting? No?
Then there’s the Valentine’s Day school party, where the kids get over-sugared, over-excited, and over-stimulated with the excitement and come home in exhausted tears with bags of candy and cheap cards that mom now has to deal with.
This may be why some husbands arrive home on the Most Romantic Day of the Year with flowers and chocolates only to find out that mom is already in the middle of a date with a bottle of Chardonnay. Yes, dear husbands, moms of elementary school kids love flowers and chocolates for Valentine’s Day. We’ve earned them. Just don’t give us a card.
Please, not a card.
Image courtesy of Shutterstock: Brent Hofacker