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Bad Advice for 5 Game of Thrones Characters

Putting the sense in senseless violence.

by
Hannah Sternberg

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June 13, 2013 - 12:00 pm
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George R. R. Martin is often accused of nihilism for his brutal treatment of his characters, without any discernible purpose or “moral” to the story. I say: not every author puts a moral in his story, but that doesn’t have to stop a thoughtful reader from finding one anyway. Now that season three of Game of Thrones is over and we have our Sunday nights back, it’ll probably take all summer just to recover from the trauma of this season and prepare for the next. Here’s my half-silly, half-serious attempt to put the “sense” in “senseless graphic violence.”

Sansa Stark: This is going to sound like bad advice, but it’s time to do something stupid.

Sansa is paralyzed by doing what’s right: sitting still and obedient in King’s Landing and playing the good little hostage. But her good behavior isn’t rewarded — in fact, it’s punished. Sometimes, despite all the morality tales we read as kids about how good behavior always leads to peace and happiness, life puts you in a situation where you’ve done all the right things and still find yourself trapped in an unbearable situation. In cases like those, it’s time to think the unthinkable — it’s time to make the seemingly “incorrect” decision. For Sansa, that would be running away. From the outside, show fans are cheering for her to do it — but from her vantage point, it’s the unconventional and wrong thing to do. My impression has always been that she shies away from it not only because it’s dangerous, but because it’s frowned upon. So when you feel like a hostage to your own circumstances, take a step back and ask yourself: what is my complete docket of options? Are there any obvious ones I’m ignoring because they come with some risk or they might provoke someone’s disapproval? Don’t be a Sansa. There are no castle guards holding you back. Take control of your own life.

Gendry: This is actually going to sound like great advice, but don’t accept oral sex from strangers.

Seriously. Leeches.

THE LESSON IS OBVIOUS HERE, PEOPLE.

Often people feel that way after meaningless sex.

Often people feel that way after meaningless sex.

Tyrion Lannister: This is going to sound like bad advice, but it’s time to put your parent(s) in their place.

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All Comments   (8)
All Comments   (8)
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Quite so, quite.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
"Now that season three of Game of Thrones is over and we have our Sunday nights back, it’ll probably take all summer just to recover from the trauma of this season and prepare for the next." You think you need to recover now, just you wait, just you wait.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
In both the real midevil world and GoT happiness and love had little to nothing to do with how the world progressed. The rules were/are fairly simple Power or Surrender. Rule or die. Both Nature and Man are against you. And both want to kill you. Success is surviving to another birthday.

Now if I was Mr. Martin, I'd try to figure out a way,(perhaps by banishment) to bring Tyrion and Draenerys together. There would be a lovely couple. And pity the other players in the Game.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Arya Stark - therapy is not the answer. Talking won't avenge the murders of your farther, mother, older brother, the crippling of another brother, etc. Only action will do that. Kill, girl, kill. All of them. Talk is cheap.

Ser Jorah - get over dragon girl. Find a hooker, pay her to do all the things you've been dreaming about. And get drunk. Really, really, really drunk. Another girl will come along; the world is lousy with them.

Sansa Stark - grow a spine. (she won't, of course. her character is as much a statement as Arya's)

Tyrion - kill your father. Seriously, he will never approve of you, will never let you be who you are. So take him out. And take that little psycho Joffrey with him.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Well, I don't know if Martin is writing for a moral, but Sansa is depicted as a fool and a coward from day one. She remains a victim of her own cowardice and lack of resolve through to the end of the fifth book, even though she's been given plenty of evidence of the worth of changing into a pragmatist.

She is the opposite of Arya, who had all the qualities Sansa lacked even before they left Winterfell. There is no evidence yet that Sansa will suddenly become bold and turn on her tormenters. The truth is that Sansa got her own father murdered and is still too stupid to understand it. In short, she is simply dense and weak. Arya is strong and quick to accept reality while at the same time fight when she can.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
So is there where someone chimes in and notes that you've obviously not read the books and that:
Sansa *SPOILER*;
Tyrion *SPOILER*;
Arya *SPOILER*;
Jorah *minor spoiler*, especially since Daenerys *SPOILER*;
Gendry has never been a POV character so advice for him is just plain wasted.

Overall, you should probably really prepare yourself for what's going to happen next season, and then wonder why you bothered getting into this nonsense in the first place for the season after that, and then get ready to sit and wait for Martin to actually write the book/season after that.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Woot. Let's hear it for the book readers, who already know.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Yes, Tyrion *SPOILER* is especially nice.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
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