Would Americans increase peace in family life and strengthen family bonds if they adopted more accepting attitudes about sex and what’s allowable under the family roof? I’ve interviewed 130 people, all white, middle class and not particularly religious, as part of a study of teenage sex and family life here and in the Netherlands. My look into cultural differences suggests family life might be much improved, for all, if Americans had more open ideas about teenage sex.
Amy Schalet is a sociology professor at the University of Massachusetts, Amherst, via an education at Berkeley and Harvard and a postdoctoral fellowship at UC San Francisco. So it’s safe to say that I’m not surprised that she’s staked out some ground somewhere on the far left of left in her new book. As the father of a newly minted (one week ago) teenage daughter, however, this one has my head spinning around. And not in the fun head spinning around kind of way.
While I haven’t read the book, I am using some of the points that Dr. Schalet chose to illustrate her conclusions. Some of these conclusions seem more like generalizations based on what she picked out from her own book to make her case.
Kimberly and Natalie dramatize the cultural differences in the way young women experience their sexuality. (I have changed their names to protect confidentiality.) Kimberly, a 16-year-old American, never received sex education at home. “God, no! No, no! That’s not going to happen,” she told me. She’d like to tell her parents that she and her boyfriend are having sex, but she believes it is easier for her parents not to know because the truth would “shatter” their image of her as their “little princess.”
Natalie, who is also 16 but Dutch, didn’t tell her parents immediately when she first had intercourse with her boyfriend of three months. But, soon after, she says, she was so happy, she wanted to share the good news. Initially her father was upset and worried about his daughter and his honor. “Talk to him,” his wife advised Natalie; after she did, her father made peace with the change. Essentially Natalie and her family negotiated a life change together and figured out, as a family, how to adjust to changed circumstance.
It is quite unfortunate that “Kimberly” didn’t receive any sex education at home. As this article is laid out, she is supposed to be indicative of the American teenage experience. And she may very well have been if this was written in 1965. It’s true that I haven’t conducted any research on this subject. I am, however, fully immersed in the child-rearing experience, which, at the very least, gives me a legitimate frame of reference from which to form a somewhat informed opinion about this subject.
Categories: Books and Magazines, Sex
Tags: amy schalet, new york times, teenage sex
I am the father of a 13 year old boy, and after witnessing first hand what my friends have gone through with their 13 year old daughters, I am everlastingly grateful I have been spared the tribulations they’ve had to endure.
If my son takes after either myself or my wife, we both delayed having any sort of serious relationships until we had completed our educations, I will be doubly grateful.
Oh, hell, no… are they friggin’ kidding? (Grew up in an urban environment with violent, drug-using and sexually-active preteens… not Planet Suburbia or its moon, Ivory Tower, like the researcher.) Gee, be like those “cool” parent who host their kids’ keg parties… big mistake. The kids will do that AND other things. Bet money on it.
Well said Stephen. I read the same article and said to myself, “Self, are you reading ‘National Lampoon’ instead of the NY Times?” Actually, not much difference these days. Every day I wonder why I still subscribe, but it’s the best way to keep up with the crazy people.
You nailed the salient point. As a parent of two very successful and happy 20 somethings, I agree it is all about communication and honesty, not encouraging your “teenagers” to get it on in your your house.
By keeping your subscription, unfortunately, you are also subsidizing the crazy people.
Between parents, thinking their children shouldn’t do anything and teenagers, thinking they should be able to do anything, we all manage to grow up anyway. When I was growing up, since there was One Big Thing you couldn’t do, we were a little more creative with what we could do.
Am I wrong in thinking that having sex in your parents house is just rude? I’ve been married 18 years, and I still wouldn’t even think of having sex in my parent’s house.
This is the same sort of logic that leads to “I feel safer if they drink at my house, because they are going to do it anyways.” Society exists to help/force us to control our baser instincts– it leads to stbility, and that’s all civilization asks for.
How many different boys should your daughter be allowed to sleep with? Can your son bring multiple partners home– I mean, they are going to do it anyway? How about BSDM? Marital… ummm, sex aids? I mean, I just want Princess to be happy…
If you allow your son/daughter to have sex in your house and they video tape it and it ends up on the Internet, are you liable? What if he’s 21 and she’s 16? Can she make a reasonable choice to sleep with a 30 yr old? Am I an accomplice to statuatory rape if I knowingly allow it to happen?
Finally, I want to teach my daughter (she’s 2) that no man deserves her, much less any boy. When she makes that leap, I want it to be with a man that understands exactly how unworthy he is. As I said, I have been married 18 years, and while I was no saint beofre I got married, my wife was the first women who made me wait an appreciable amount of time– I fell in love chasing her, and, truth be told, I haven’t stopped falling in love or chasing. She just enjoys being caught a little more often now
Very well said, Cable Guy! I agree with every word.
Just don’t overdo it with your daughter. We have enough “Princesses” out there who treat men as scum.
On a more humorous note, I remember a line from a female comedian many years ago. It went something like this:
“My father always told me that boys are bad. He warned me constantly to stay away from boys. Now, he wonders why I’m a lesbian.”
Cite: … no man deserves her … a man that understands exactly how unworthy he is…
WTF? That kind of misandry surprises me from a guy. No wonder that many American women have such inflated ego that Marie Antoinette looks profoundly shy by comparison.
Why do you spoil the dating market for your younger fellows by cultivating a haughty princess? If she really believes you, she will treat half of humanity with automatic, prejudicial contempt.
“Am I wrong in thinking that having sex in your parents house is just rude?”
No; and it’s extremely disrespectful.
I just wonder how extensive Dr. Amy Schalet’s survey was. Did she cherry pick her data to arrive at the right results? One can never be certain when reading such things, and of course, one should not trust anything appearing in the NYT. Not surprisingly, this is the usual case of the LSM (here the NYT) trying to influence the news instead of reporting it. As for the NYT, It’s all the news that fits our views all the times.
Of course she cherry-picked. That’s the way its done these days. Otherwise we would have to rely on the dreaded requirement of ‘statistical significance’ and then we’d never find things that supported our preconceptions.
I know for a fact my parents have had sex in my grandparents’ house before, but they were married. And of course therein lies the difference- it’s one thing to have your married children live with you while they save for their own place (or wait for the developers to finish building it), or even just accept that they’ll be having sex while they visit for Christmas; it’s quite another to tolerate fornication under your roof.
There’s a main difference between the views of Mr. Kruiser and Dr. Schalet: Mr. Kruiser, as do all orthodox Christians, actually believes that there is an objective foundation for sexual morality, it is rooted in God’s will, and that sex should be practiced only in a marriage. This is meant to complete the two halves of humanity, man and woman, and to be a safe place to create new life. This view says it’s not just a big no no to teenagers having sex in your parent’s house, but also prohibits any kind of sexual relationship outside of marriage.
Dr. Schalet is probably an atheist, and does not hold that there is any objective standard to human relationships of sexual nature. All differences between cultures are explained by claiming that cultures anyway develop different kinds of customs, and there’s no objectively right answer. This view (not necessarily but often) leads to the abolition of purpose for sex and to the maximizing of sexual pleasure. Not only is allowing teenagers to have sex at their parents house acceptable, but practically any kind of sexual pursuit is justified within the ever-changing cultural norms.
Thumbs up for Mr. Kruiser.
my wife and i have talked to our daughters about christian sex.they have been made to understand that sex is for after you are married.i am 99.9 % sure that they are virgins.if they have had sex then they were made aware of the consequences of there actions, such as loss of self esteem and self worth,possible pregnency and last but not least disappointing jesus and her parents and putting her future at risk.in other words they were just given the cold hard facts of life and that is just because of our love for them.
If it’s not realistic to expect teens to refrain from sex voluntarily, doesn’t that counter the arguments that were offered by “modern” people in the first half of the 20th century that dating teens do not require chaperones?
I see her point. If both kids in Europe and the US want to ditch school, and some parents in Europe believe it is best to allow their kids to come home when ditiching classes so that they can talk to the kids about school and and how important an education is, then shouldn’t we all follow their lead? Isn’t it best if your child and friends come to your own home while ditching? And, as long as the Dutch do it, it would be good for you to allow them to smoke some pot or drink a few (best to have them do that at home too). If they get a bit randy, could there be a better opportunity for them all to learn about sex?
Just don’t give them ice cream or french fries. That would be hurting their health and teaching them bad habits.
Being in the NYT, I think the key to understanding the extent of research that went into this article can be explained by the sentence, “The Dutch parents I interviewed”. Most likely she was on a plane and sat next to a Dutch couple. That would certainly be above and beyond current NYT standards.
I have found that children that are treated as unable to have any self-control generally end up matching that expectation. My husband and I have always tried to teach our children that they do not have to give in to every impulse, and mercifully are experiencing that they are turning into adults as opposed to eternal adolescent-minded people. Poor Dr. Schalet probably never had an adult in her life to show her the difference between temporary pleasure and pursuing excellence.
As the song says;”She may practice safe sex,but she’ll still break your heart.”
These parents are fools. Why move out if you can have everything at home??
I lived at home for 1 year after college. I had a solid job but it was just to save 75% of my salary so I could go to grad school with zero debt. (best decision I’ve ever made)
During that year I never would have thought of bringing someone home. It’s why I always knew being there was just a temporary thing.
“Normalizing” — isn’t that what Warren Harding tried to do, to bring us back to “normalcy?”
“I’m sorry Janie can’t come downstairs right now, she’s busy humping her boyfriend. This is a NORMAL household!!!”
Is anyone else reminded of “healthcare reform” = socialized medicine, or “activist” = “terrorist” or “kinetic military activity”….ah, fugeddaboutit, as they say in NY.
Idiocy tip-off: she refers to 16 year old girls as “young women.” I teach at a college and interestingly the kids call themselves “boys” and girls.” It is only the administration and faculty who call them “men” and women.”
Liberals regard teenagers as young adults ready to have sex. But according to theses same elites, if a teenager commits a crime they are too young to understand the consequences of their actions and undeserving of adult punishment. Has there ever been a group more obsessed with sex than the modern left, a group more willing to claim sex as the motivation for every behavior or use it as an excuse to absolve misbehavior? As a group, they strive day and night to limit our economic, environmental and social liberties, yet they are rabidly anxious to extend the “right” to every sexual liberty.
Liberals regard teenagers as young adults ready to have sex. But according to theses same elites, if a teenager commits a crime they are too young to understand the consequences of their actions and undeserving of adult punishment.
Well, we have to admit that as a society, we’re sending a lot of mixed messages for when a child is old enough to be considered an adult. When you go to a movie, kids over 12 (give or take) have to pay an adult’s admission price. At 16, kids can get a driver’s license and legally consent to have sex in most states. At 18, they can vote and enlist in the military. But they aren’t old enough to buy a beer or sign most other contracts until they’re 21. I don’t know what the current age is, but in the past many car rental companies wouldn’t rent to anyone under age 25.
I had sex in my parents home and it was scary.
If someone else had been there, I’d probably wouldn’t have been scared.
I guess I missed the punchline here. Do you want your daughter to just not have sex (ever? until marriage?) or just not do it under your roof?
I think family ties would be stronger if the whole family is able to have group sex. Let’s take liberalism to its ultimate conclusion.
God has spoken quite clearly on this subject. Sex is only for the man and woman married to one another. No one has the authority to overrule God; not even a Cal Berkeley Freak. (I know, “freak” is redundant.
All physical and emotional issues notwithstanding, fornication is a sin which separates us from God. Only God has spiritual life to give, so the sinner separates himself from spiritual life when he intentionally sins. The only alternative to spiritual life is spiritual death, and our bible defines that as “the second death”; eternal immersion in the Lake of Fire. Most will not believe the bible. They will learn the truth on their immersion into the fiery lake; a bit too late to repent. A few will believe and repent and thus evade punishment and receive the reward of eternal life in Heaven with our Lord, Jesus Christ. Its a matter of faith and choice.
Those who want to believe that they are but accidental collocations of subatomic particles, hence without any real value or purpose will use that rationale to attempt to justify their perverted lifestyles. Their descent into chaos begins with that decision. Our Lord said that few will be saved, That means, doesn’t it, that the vast majority will damn themselves by refusing to obey God’s revelation to us? How sad!
There are infinities of printed words which have been authored, far more than any educated person can read in one life time. Hence some judgment, a literary filter, must be used, to exclude useless, or even harmful material. After decades of reading many daily publications, I decided, long ago, to forgo the NY Times. The Gray Lady did not die, she has become a vampire, a source of vile concepts, e.g. normal conduct, as defined by some academic nut.
Neither’s writings deserve reading.
Whoa, big news. Dog bites man. University of Massachusetts, Amherst? Berkeley? Harvard? Interviews with 130 not particularly religious people? Given this background was there ever any possibility she would come to any conclusion other than what she did?
Why is it when people say we should be more like Europeans, never seem to want to move there themselves? I work across the street from Los Angeles International Airport and there is no giant fence keeping them from flying there today if they wanted. In other words, Unhappy? GTFO!
I see nothing here about the responsability side of what if someone gets knocked up! How will you feel raising your grandchild, or helping to find a clinic for the quick solution? WWSD… What would Stephen do?
Sexual intercourse is not a recreational activity, it is the precursor and predicate act to conception of a human being. We have entered an era where we think, because of medical technology, that conception can be controlled, and it is thus always optional. We instruct our children who are sufficient well along through puberty that they can engage in moving the dials and levers of machinery that has been disabled, and thus cannot start up a process that has momentous consequences. We have come to view conception as an unintended consequence of sexual activity, which is kind of an oxymoron to be truthful.
We cannot prepare our pubescent children for the consequences of their reproductive machinery actually doing the job it was built to do. This is like allowing our teenaged children to play with the controls of an earthmover parked in the front yard because if they have taken the proper precautions, it can never start up and wreck the house.
But sometimes it does start up and start to wreck the house. Wouldn’t it be better to not play with the machinery until the circumstances were better for dealing with the consequences of when it did actually perform its function?
But no, we are too advanced to do that.
“The “Gosh, why can’t we just be more like Europe?” meme”
Is there any evidence the Dutch parents she spoke with are even remotely representative? I personally know parents in the US who are, if anything, even more “liberal” about their teen children’s sexual activity than the Dutch parents described here, but they’re pretty extreme outliers.
“are you reading ‘National Lampoon’ instead of the NY Times?”
THe best that can be said of the New York TImes is that it used to be the New York Times.
God forbid. From about ages thirteen through sixteen I was a scared, over-emotional mess; if my parents decided I could “reasonably assess my own readiness” for most things during that time, I really really hate to think where I would’ve wound up.
Hey, they were ‘All White’ what more has to be said. …. :: /
Note that the Dutch father has no choice- he can’t discipline his daughter, nor can he throw her out. So much for choice.
Maybe they should do a follow up study when the “in love ” teen is pregnant and the poor dad has to take her to the abortion clinic, lest he has to rasie another kid.
What is the age for driving n the Netherlands? (looked it up- 18)
Ah- so a 16 year old can’t be trusted with a car- but can make mature rational decisions about their body. OK.
Ward Cleaver – “What’s that noise coming from Beaver’s room?”
June Cleaver – “Linda’s being a little hard on the beaver and so is Beaver”
Heh!
I’ll go sit in a corner right now, but I won’t be quiet.
“Hello, Mrs. Cleaver,” says Eddie. “My mom says it’s okay if you and I have sex at my house, that is is Mr. Cleaver doesn’t mind.”
An assistant professor of sociology at a middling state school? Color me unimpressed, folks.
And based on her bio, I doubt she is old enough to have a teenager of her own. In other words, she likely know squat.
Without trying to be uncharitable, if you google Amy, her picture will scare the crap out of you. Everyone forms opinions from their life experiences.
I am sure when she was a teenager, no boy would touch her with a ten foot pole unless he was hidden in her family home’s sub-basement and her parents were making his car payments.
Well, let me offer an alternative to Dr. Eura-Wannabe. When I was struggling about deciding the best way to talk to my young child about birth, sex, marriage and related issues, in a way that was appropriate, I learned how another mom learned these things when she was growing up. She came from a loving and strongly Christian family.
By the time she had reached puberty her parents, mainly her mother, had shared everything about sex that you would ever want to know, in full detail. It was presented as normal, clean, enjoyable, loving, valuable, life-affirming, something to look forward to, good and God-ordained, as well as private and for married people.
She went to a public high school and encountered typical attitudes there, but could not relate to dirty jokes, self-conscious lewdness, sly innuendoes, and the usual giggle-worthy off remarks and general embarrassment with attendant pseudo-sophisticated cover-ups. To her the subject was not taboo but something private and the awkward passive-aggressive attitudes of the majority of her classmates toward sex were baffling to her, especially the self-conscious and smutty humor. Her husband was her first and only lover, and after they married. She remains one of the kindest, most emotionally healthy and mentally stable persons I know.
Another acquaintance got together with the parents of her 16-year-old son’s girlfriend and arranged to have mutual “sleepovers” since they were going to “do it anyway.” The son developed into a substance abuser, and was the cause of severe parental heartbreak as a result. I observed their behaviors over the years and was clear that he did not know how to deny himself anything, knew nothing about delayed gratification, utilized and manipulated other people, and dumped his sleepover girlfriend after a relatively short time. Not saying all this was due to teenaged sleepovers, but that they did go together. The parents frequently contrasted American life with European life and found the U.S. wanting. The arrangements were presented as enlightened, progressive and healthy as opposed to ignorant, repressive, awkward and backward.
I have lived nearly one decade of my adult life in Europe and I can testify that while their attitudes across the board are somewhat different, they are no more enlightened and healthy than American ones. All my evidence is anecdotal too, but it is first-hand and abundant. Progressive, enlightened parents don’t prevail there, but sleeping around does. This is not to tar everyone with the same brush, but European lives and mores are not generally superior to American ones and there is at least an equal amount of angst, broken hearts, deceitful infidelity, humiliating and damaging affairs, psychological devastation and cynicism related to sex and romance among both teens and adults. They have AIDS and venereal disease. While we are at it let’s add alcoholism, drug abuse, and crime among all classes, as well as severe immigration problems as bad as or worse than ours. While Europe is a great tourist attraction, it is not a paradise for the common man, although it is better than it used to be.
A small percentage of “enlightened” elites in America are always comparing our culture and norms to the Europeans, and desperately trying, in the fashion of an overwrought terrier, to be alike, be approved by, and be mistaken for their fantasy idea of a typical European. I love my euro friends, including the ones who are “not particularly religious” as well as the ones who live by faith. Their human worth and accomplishments are praiseworthy, but they are not better than us.
Pul-leeze.
At 17 I was having sex with my boyfriend, 22, in his family home. Never in my own.
I was always ashamed to face his mother, who acted nonchalant about it.
That man and I now have been married 26 years. I am still ashamed by disrespecting her house (all four of her kids were doing it with their partners, including my husband and his prior girlfriend) and can’t help feeling judged by her. I also feel resentful towards her because SHE WAS THE HOMEOWNER AND PARENT and could have stopped it.
She and I have a cool (as in cold) relationship.
My husband and my parents have a warm and respectful relationship.
He has followed my parents lead and we do not allow our children, 21, 19 and 15 to have sex in our home.
They still love us…
Well, that NYT article definitely needed the big clown sign stuck on it. Miss Amy would be tossed out of any decent academic department that upheld standards of statistical sampling for her cherry-picked uniform upper middle class population. Like she surveyed all her Liberal Left friends. More crap from the failing education system pushing bankrupt Liberal Left failures.
And for those Liberal Left parents, if they can’t lay down the law that their teenagers are to control themselves and adhere to only 5,000 years of basic family expectations of decorum and respect for the parental home, then what good are they as parents? Bet they insist their kids control themselves and not shoplift in the grocery store while they shop together, and have no problem making a stink about that. THe dirty truth? A bunch of 1960s/70s parents need to GROW up and ACT like ADULTS and STOP projecting their aging EGOS unto their KIDS, trying to RELIVE their “SEXY YOUTH” years. It’s the adults pushing kids into too early sexuality. Left to their own devices most kids would rather do unsexual, fun things, but same lazy parents haven’t even taught them skilled hobbies, like kayaking or hiking or cooking or sewing or model trains and don’t encourage them to WORK after school and on weekends, so duh, “idle hands are the devil’s workshop.”
We have sons and daughters. No TV in the house. We had four teenagers in the house this year and it was EASY. 200 years ago there was no such critter as “teenagers”. One was apprenticed at age 13 until 19, working hard. “Teenagers” is a Liberal Left construct to make excuses for the result of BAD,LAZY, morally confused parenting, proper guidance and household decorum that should have started at age 6 months.
Thank you.
Excellent points, Wanumba.
I would add that too many adults who have something to do with young people seem way, way over-involved in the young people’s sexual behavior.
What I mean is: when attending an informational meeting for parents and prospective freshmen with my daughter five years ago, at an Ivy League school, I was offended by the attitude of the middle-aged lady who was head of housing. She referred to the all-female dorm (which my daughter had selected: my experience from college in the 70s was that single-sex floors were definitely quieter), and, with a charming laugh, assured us that, though it was nominally single-sex, there sure were a lot of men in the yard whenever there was a fire drill!
Why was she so eager for us–parents and students–to be ‘reassured’ that the young ladies who lived in this dorm were definitely ‘hot’ enough to land some bedmates? Boy, did it seem unseemly to me; and funny to think that, once upon a time, some bureaucrat in her position would have been frantic to have everyone think that the young ladies in her charge were unfailingly chaperoned.
Which of the two priggish attitudes is more objectionable? At least, if you were the prude of olden times, you weren’t getting excited or validated or whatever when the young ladies were having sex.
I can’t shake how weird and offensive that was.
My daughter has latterly pointed out to me that the bureaucrat might have had some anxiety to impress upon her audience that the women living in the all-female dorm weren’t lesbians.
In any case: how about if the powers that be (who collect a lot of money from us) did what they could to guarantee that dorms were safe, quiet, clean, and conducive to getting one’s work done? Isn’t that what college is for? (Or are there parents who want to be sending them off to a 4-year party?)
At age 75 I realize that Mother Nature is a cruel mistress.
Raised in a religious home where premarital sex was a no no my own sexual experience started by the time I was seven. The only porno in the house was Sears catalog pages of women in lingerie and bare breasted angels on religious magazines, with these I masturbated several years before semen was present.
By the time I reached High School two things had occurred, the first was that I looked much older than I was and the second was that many considered me to be Extremely handsome. Everything that should have made me the town Lothario except I was extremly shy around the female sex.
Getting dates which I wanted was no problem, kissing (second base as it was called) was no problem, but then I froze. I took many girls home that for some reason were mad as hell. The word got out that I was queer. For some reason that seemed to make me more attractive to a lot of the girls in town, to the point that I was turning down dates. By this time Playboy was out and I had acess to better porn.
Married at age twenty one my wife and I were both virgins. In my case it was probably an accident my wife says no in her case, she had a college degree and had opportunity if she had chosen. We are now married fifty four years, of our ten closest friend (couples) seven are divorced, six were pregnent when married.
What has life taught me? Damned if I know. I got naked with the next door neighbor girl when I was five (she was seven) I don’t remember what we did I just remember we got caught. Should our parents have given us demonstrations of good positions? I’m sure I would still be laughing.
We have raised four kids I’m reasonably sure that they think us to have been of pre-historic times. I don’t how when or where sex started with them I am reasonably sure it didn’t happen in our house before they were married. Those that now are, are welcome to bang their brains out as long as they don’t scare the cat.
Fifty four years of sex has been a lot of fun because there has been a lot love comingled.
SEX started at seven for me, at seventy five I still have work to do with the love part.
http://www.city-journal.org/article01.php?aid=1367
“All of the prevailing analyses of teen childbearing, both liberal and conservative, neglect a troubling truth apparent throughout most of human history: nothing could be more natural than a 16-year-old [girl] having a baby.”
It is ‘natural’ – that’s how children get born. But society has changed somewhat since your great grandparents’ day. Do you think the 16 year old boy has the economic chops to support the mother of his child and the child?
In our urban high school there is a day care center where girls may bring their children while they continue on with school. One parent referred to it as ‘Little Bastards Day Care’. Some of the girls graduated with 3 children – all with different last names.
A stable society is established on stable families. Forget the individual troubles, problems and emotional upheaval from children raising children. What effect does this have on our society as a whole? So far, I am unimpressed with the results.
I should add that once my Dad walked in on us when we were having sex in my grandmother’s den (with the door closed — not locked).
We were married about two years at that point, and had a kid.
Letting your child have sex in the family home is not condoning it. The kids still get the same talk about values. But if they decide to have sex, where would you want them to have it: in a car? at his friends house? in an alleyway?
Amy Schalet is a sociology professor at the University of Massachusetts, Amherst, via an education at Berkeley and Harvard and a postdoctoral fellowship at UC San Francisco. [Need we say more?]
“Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools, ” (Romans 1:22)
“Why do the heathen rage, and the people imagine a vain thing? The kings of the earth set themselves, and the rulers take counsel together, against the Lord, and against his anointed, saying, Let us break their bands asunder, and cast away their cords from us. ” (Psalms 2:1-3)
God’s laws and principles (including benefits requiring responsibility) are to our collective benefit when obeyed, and to our hurt when neglected. As marriage goes so does the family, and when the family goes so does the nation, and all the kings men and money will not fix it, but the surrender of saving faith to the Christ of Scripture who saves sinners will.
From promoting citizenship without oaths of allegiance to sexual relations without the lifetime commitment of marriage, the Left continues it War against the only-wise and holy God, at great cost of souls, lives and money: http://peacebyjesus.witnesstoday.org/RevealingStatistics.html
“Ye shall not do after all the things that we do here this day, every man whatsoever is right in his own eyes.” (Deuteronomy 12:8)
“The law of the Lord is perfect, converting the soul: the testimony of the Lord is sure, making wise the simple.” (Psalms 19:7)
“.. a guide of the blind, a light of them which are in darkness, An instructor of the foolish, a teacher of babes, which hast the form of knowledge and of the truth in the law.” (Romans 2:19-20)
“Lo, this only have I found, that God hath made man upright; but they have sought out many inventions.” (Eccl. 7:29)