November 02, 2004

ELECTION DAY REMINDERS: Letís get a couple of things out of the way before todayís votes are counted.

You have the right to vote. You do not have the right to see the man of your choice in the White House.

If George W. Bush wins the election, the world will still spin on its axis. Canada will not grant you asylum. If John Kerry wins the election, America will still be America. Australia will not grant you asylum.

People who vote for the other guy arenít stupid, brainwashed, or evil. They are your friends and family. Someone you love will almost certainly cancel your vote. (My wife cancels out mine.)

If, by some chance, everyone you know votes for the loser it wonít mean the election was stolen. It will only show that you live in a bubble.

If this thing is close (the victor could easily win by 0.1 percent) try not to read too much into it. Weíll still be closely divided.

If the election doesnít go your way, donít pop off as though America were Guatemala under the generals. Youíll get lots of attention, but it wonít be the kind you want. People will laugh, not near you but at you.