JOHN PODHORETZ IS ASKING THE IMPORTANT QUESTIONS:

So, The Mummy. The question that bedevils me as I begin this review is how I can get to the end of it. Like Lucy in Peanuts, I am now counting words to see how quickly I can get to 700, which fills my slot here at The Weekly Standard. That was 53 words. I’m 8 percent of the way there. Can I make it?

Find out here — I strongly suspect his review is much more fun than Tom Cruise’s underlying movie — and goes by much faster.