January 16, 2014

BADASS OF THE WEEK: Rick Rescorla. “Cyril Richard Rescorla was born in Cornwall, on the southwest tip of England, in 1939. A rugby star and high school shot put champion growing up, it soon became apparent that the whole book-learning thing really wasn’t as appealing to young Rick as a good old-fashioned ass-whipping was. So as soon as this adventure-hungry athlete turned 16 he quit school, joined the British military, and dedicated the majority of his life to pummeling the ever-loving cock-and-balls off of Communist douchebags wherever he could find them. . . . He was last seen on the tenth floor of the World Trade Center, headed up. Of the 2,700 people he had been charged with protecting, all but 6 survived the terrorist attack.”