July 6, 2010

STEVEN DEN BESTE: The Paranoid Answer. Actually, the reason the oil cleanup is so slow is that there’s no oil spill at all. Oil’s just a cover story. It’s really aliens on the seafloor. That’s why the press is being kept away, and that’s why they’re preparing the public by floating stories about the possibility of nuking the site. Those skimmer ships aren’t cleaning things up, they are actually releasing oil to support the cover story. That’s why they’ve found lame excuses to keep volunteers and foreign assistance away. It’s all obvious once you think about it! Wake up, sheeple!

UPDATE: I mean, come on. You’ve seen this movie already:

The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services set up the facility on May 31. According to a press release, the medical unit is staffed by “a medical team from the HHS National Disaster Medical System — a doctor, two nurses, two emergency medical technician paramedics (EMT-P) and a pharmacist.”

For over two weeks, my NewsHour colleagues and I reached out to media contacts at HHS, the U.S. Coast Guard and everyone listed as a possible media contact for BP, in an attempt to visit the unit and get a general sense of how many people were being treated there , who they were and what illnesses they had. We got nowhere. It was either “access denied,” or no response at all. It was something that none of us had ever encountered while covering a disaster.

That’s because it’s not a disaster. But ignore Moe Lane’s disinformation. He’s obviously in on the plot, and trying to muddy the waters. But the truth is out there!

ANOTHER UPDATE: I’m sure this fits in somehow. “SIGA Technologies, Inc. /quotes/comstock/15*!siga/quotes/nls/siga (SIGA 7.92, +0.27, +3.53%) , a company specializing in the development of pharmaceutical agents to combat bio-warfare pathogens, announced today that Andy Stern, labor leader and prominent advocate for reform, joined SIGA’s board of directors. Mr. Stern is the former president of Service Employees International Union (SEIU), the largest and fastest-growing healthcare union in North America. ”

MORE: What’s the best round against aliens? I favor the .300 Win Mag personally. At close range, shotguns are good.

STILL MORE: Further support for the alien theory: First Oil, Now Bombs: All Sorts Of Cool Stuff Washing Up On Alabama Beaches. “The device is disk-shaped and about 3 feet wide and appears to weigh about 500 lbs. It was found in the surfline. Crews have cordoned off about 30 yards of beach with construction fence.”