All 'Progressive' Roads Lead To Racism

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Spot on observation by the only man who is legally licensed to carry the selfie-stick, Pat Condell, master of the one-man video monologue:

If you aspire to be politically “progressive”, but often find yourself feeling intolerably tolerant or unreasonably reasonable, let me help you out with some basic tips. The number one rule, and the only one that you really need to remember, is that all “progressive” roads lead to racism. You should always look for the racist angle, and if there isn’t one, invent one. Show some initiative!

Watch the whole thing. (Transcript available here.)

Always looking for the racist angle often leads to some bizarre observations, Such as the description of this chart on Twitter:

Click to enlarge.

Why, what a pianist-centric fallacy! (Sorry. And apologies for the slightly technical music-speak to follow.) Yes, it’s true that the song keys that correspond to the black notes on the piano are underrepresented in the above chart. But the real reason isn’t the “color” of the piano keys, it’s that that those musical keys which dominate the pop world are those that are easiest to play on guitar. Any guitarist with a few months of practice can play songs in the keys of C, D, E, F and G and A, as these keys use simple chord progressions that can easily be played in the first position of the guitar. And even pop guitarists who know many more chords, and can play barre chords up and down the fretboard often like using keys such as E, D and A so that they can employ the open strings of the guitar as bass and drone notes. Pete Townshend’s incredible “Underture” from Tommy and uses a D pedal note that thumps underneath the simple D major chord shape he’s sliding up and down the guitar neck at the start of the tune:

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You can hear (and see) what I mean starting at about the 2:50 mark in this brilliant performance of the related Tommy instrumental “Sparks” at the Tanglewood Music Shed in 1970:

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But hey, if you want to join what Politico dubbed in 2008 “the liberal Bletchley Park,” cryptographers in search of hidden racism everywhere, have at it.

Although beware, it’s a dual-edged sword– the flat keys represented by the black notes on the piano are preferred by many horn players, including those who play that infamous imperialist oppressor of music, the Saxophone!

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(That last clip found via Jon Gabriel of Ricochet, along with the latest example of the left devouring themselves.)