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Ed Driscoll

Lemon.

April 21st, 2011 - 10:29 am

Mike McDaniel  goes deep inside Government Motors:

The Scene:  An executive conference room at General Motors HQ.  The mood: grim.

CEO: “Thanks for that report, Tom. What’s next on the agenda, Bob?”

Executive Vice President #1: “Uh, Steve Jenkins from Chevrolet is here to report on the Volt task force.”

CEO: (Perking up) “Ah! Some good news at last!”

Jenkins: (Nervously) “Uh, Mr. Chairman, I’m afraid the news isn’t so good…”

CEO: (Frowning) “Just get on with it.”

Jenkins: (Swallows) “Well, the Volt is only getting about 25 miles per charge…”

Executive Vice President #2: “Wasn’t it supposed to get 50?”

Executive Vice President #3: “Nah. That was marketing hype.  Forty is more like it.”

CEO: “Forty? Didn’t I just hear Jenkins say 25?”

Jenkins: (Sweating) “Well, Mr. Chairman, it seems that customers are insisting on carrying passengers, using air conditioning, the heater, the radio, lights, turn signals, and other accessories like that.”

EVP#3: “Oh yeah. That kind of frivolous, luxury stuff will really drain the battery fast.”

CEO: (Sighs) “Go on.”

Jenkins: (Wipes sweat from his brow) “Uh, well, our sales volume is (whispered) 1210 units…”

CEO:  “What’s that?  How many?”

Jenkins:  (Pale and stuttering, a little louder) “Uh, um, 1210 units?”

CEO:  “One thousand two hundred and ten units?! For last month?

Jenkins: (About to pass out) “Well, uh no, that’s…that’s for 2011.”

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