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Dr. Helen

Ah: Breaking, entering and identity theft…

May 9th, 2013 - 6:08 am

Today.com: Woman haunts ex on line for years after breakup:

Ah, romance. Boy meets girl. Boy dates girl. Boy dumps girl. Girl embarks on a campaign of online harassment that lands her a prison sentence. Girl flees country.

Lee David Clayworth, 35, met Lee Ching Yan, 29, while he was teaching at an international school in Malaysia. They began casually dating in mid-2010, said Clayworth, who called it quits by December. “I decided to go my own way,” he told TODAY, describing a relationship that at times “wasn’t the healthiest.” Unfortunately, he said, the dumping “didn’t go down so well with her.”

After the split, Yan broke into Clayworth’s home and took his laptop, external hard drive, teaching portfolio and other significant personal belongings, he said.

“And then this online onslaught started,” Clayworth said. “My email account was hacked into, my Skype account was hacked into. Emails started coming from my account … claiming that I’m having sex with underage students.”

Now this guy says he can’t get a job possibly because of what has been written on line about him. How many men’s lives and livelihoods are ruined this way and how many are able to find justice? Probably few. But if you are male, it’s just part of “romance.” Yes, I realize that the author of the article was being a bit sarcastic with the “Ah, romance” line but if the genders were reversed, it wouldn’t be “Ah, romance.” It would be “kill the bastard!”

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All Comments   (5)
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Ah, romance. So much of our notions of romance actually come from the Middle Ages. In fact, the marriage contract, particularly presumptive paternity, derives from English common law written in the Age of Chivalry during the Cult of Mary. It's over 600 years old. How many of you live in the 14th century?

I got my master's degree in Romantic poetry, with a minor in the Humanities and Medieval literature. So, I think I'm qualified to speack on this subject, although I will not follow the party line. I never have.

Chaucer nailed it in the Wife of Bath. It's a story about an old snaggle-toothed hag who was a serial husband murderer. She killed them by screwing their brains out. Now that she has all their money and lands, she goes on a pilgrimage to Canterbury to ask for penance and forgiveness for her sins. Go figure. They're dead. She's rich. What's to ask forgiveness for? I mean, it's always been about female enpowerment, hasn't it? Yeah, since the 1300s. Only Chaucer and the Gawain-poet saw through it.

I don't know how many of you read romance novels, but you should. They're all written by women and read by women. When I was in graduate school, there was this conference for romance writers. I thought it might be a good place to gain some insight. I went, and I was the only guy there. It was hundreds of women, mostly old ladies, who write romance novels. I learned a lot.

The romance novel follows a basic formula: girl meets boy; girl loses boy; girl wins boy back!

Female empowerment all over again. Except that it doesn't conform with the greatest romance ever, Gone With the Wind.

The movie is exceptional, but the book is even better. It actually has a plot: girl meets man; girl refuses to grow up; man leaves. It's just that when he finally leaves-- "Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn"--he only has the clothes he's wearing. All his millions were wasted on her.

If that isn't a romance, I don't know what is. Maybe Casablanca; oh, that was produced in the same year, 1939.

But that was a movie about a man who unkowlingly had an affair with a married woman, got left at the altar, then sacrificed everything for her. True love.

They don't write books or make movies like that anymore. Gone With the Wind was written by a woman. She understood romance. Casablanca was written by a man. He understood romance.

F. Scott Fitzgerald writes, "Show me a hero, and I'll write you a tragedy."

That sounds about right.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
This reminds me of all the gun control activists who are blaming legal gun owners for the fact that some criminally insane individuals commit horrible crimes.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Those of us who speak on men's rights aren't claiming that women are any more "evil" than men. We are saying that when their corrupt behavior is excused, and incentivized in many cases, some will go for it. Hold women to the same standards as men, and a lot of this crap will take care of itself.

But Feminism is the radical notion that women are strong and independent helpless children with no personal agency who can do anything a man can do but shouldn't be held responsible for any of her decisions.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
The VAWA was passed because some men behave like this woman towards their spouses.

That there isn't a corresponding push to pass a VAMA law that hold women accountable for the crazy, destructive female style stalker behavior from ex-girlfriends/wives is rather telling.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
VAWA passed, and continues to pass, because female supremacists of both political parties bent over backwards for the Feminist lobby. VAWA is actually counterproductive to preventing domestic violence as noted by numerous experts. It was designed to put a male face on domestic violence and enrich groups that are a part of the woman's lobby.

Domestic violence is reciprocal and generational, not an outcome of "male power" or something that only men do, as they would have us believe.

SAVEservices.org is a reputable source for research that backs up what I am saying.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
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