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Klavan On The Culture

A Close Study of Putin’s Op-Ed

September 15th, 2013 - 12:28 pm

At first when I heard that former Communist KGB thug and current untrustworthy president of Russia thug Vladimir Putin had written an op-ed for the New York Times, it sounded like the answer to a riddle. “If Paul Krugman writes for the op-ed page of the New York Times, and Maureen Dowd writes for the op-ed page of the New York Times, who else would be likely to write for the op-ed page of the New York Times?” But once I had a chance to study what Putin actually said about President Obama’s recent foreign policy initiative in Syria, I felt it was worth taking a close and serious look at what the Russian had to say.

The first paragraph establishes his subject with remarkable clarity:

Dosvedanya, Suckers! Who-dat just pwned the President of the oh-so-exceptional United States? That’s right, you Yankee Doodle Dandies! Me, that’s who! Hey, Uh-O-Obama, who’s your Daddy? Vladdy your Daddy! Boom! Ouch, that was the sound of the leader of the free world having himself Bee-yatch Slapped big time! It is Assad day for U.S. prestige. Get it? Assad. A – sad! Yowzah!

After thus setting the tone for future relations between Russia’s president and ours, Putin goes on to address more directly the context of our international standing in the age of Obama:

Yo, American Bee-yatches! Remember the movie Carrie? How, like, this whole burning house fell down on top of her head and everyone thought she was dead and buried and then suddenly — frang!!! — her hand comes rocketing out the grave and grabs you by the leg and you’re all, like, “Yaaaaa!” Okay. Now, remember the Cold War and how you were all, like, “We won the Cold War! USA! USA!” and we were all, like, “Boo-hoo, turns out Communism wasn’t such a great idea after all.” Well, guess what? Frang!!!!  Now you’ve got the Marxist leader and we’re all, like, “I reach out of the grave and grab your leg, Charlie!” Should’ve stuck with the whole Reagan small government, big army thing, but no-o-o-o-o! Who’s sorry now? That’s the song I’m singing!

And finally, in a magnanimous gesture, the Russian president concludes with a paragraph of reconciliation:

Seriously, though, once he wipes the egg off his face, President Obama and I have a great deal in common. I don’t believe in American exceptionalism and neither does he. I want U.S. foreign policy hamstrung by the circus of petty tyrants that is the United Nations and so does he. I benefit from having a Russian-backed murderous strong man retain power in Syria while the humiliation of the American president reduces his influence in the region to zero and…  oops!  I guess I have one on you there! Rim-shot! So long, schmuckovites!

All in all, a thoughtful essay that, properly seen, helps us understand Obama’s foreign policy as it is seen by the rest of the world.

Comments are closed.

Top Rated Comments   
Obama getting his ass kicked ten ways to Sunday.
Change we can all believe in.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
I am offended as an American that statist such as McCain, Graham and Menendez take offense and want to throw up as Putin declares "American Exceptionalism" a fantasy when the statist on both sides of the aisle in DC are destroying free markets and free trade that led to our exceptionalism.

It was Classical Liberalism that made America great, but yet the same idiots that are trying to destroy and fundamentally transform the nation are the first to object to the hard truth of their ideology and policies.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
"I benefit from having a Russian-backed murderous strong man retain power in Syria"

And we benefit from his removal precisely how? Assad is a devil we know and a devil less evil than those who would replace him. His regime lets Christians and Druze live in peace; the rebels are carrying out forced conversions to Islam. His regime wasn't the one the gassed the civilians. The majority of the rebels now are foreign mercenaries which means that if they win, Syria probably won't even be really controlled by Syrians.

But yes, let's overthrow him and pray that a country with no real history of democratic stability besieged by Islamists will turn out better.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
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All Comments   (23)
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Now that "the smartest person in the (bath)room" has effectively ceded the Presidency of the United States to Vladimir Putin, could we now see our new presidents' birth certificate? (I bet president Vlad will at least show us an (un-photoshopped) version of his Russian original-version birth certificate and we can be certain of where HE was born.)
Read a joke the other day. (Q): What's the difference between Putin and obama? (A): Putin is not a communist (or a Muslim either).
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
As Iowahawk said, " At this point Putin is basically doing doughnuts in Obama's front yard. Ha ha !!
Chris Von Holland tried to deflect this Sunday to no avail.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Would it be too much to ask to provide a link to the op-ed, and even treat the subject seriously?
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Yeah!! That is too much to ask. It is not like it is all over the internet!! Jack-wad!
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
For your reading pleasure:

ww w.washington post.co m/bl ogs/worldviews/wp/2013/09/12/vladimir-putins-new-york-times-op-ed-annotated-and-fact-checked/
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
McCain baffles Russian communists promising to respond to Putin's op-ed in Pravda September 14, 2013

http://rt.com/news/mccain-pravda-putin-response-864/
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
and now Kerry is saying there will be severe consequences if Assad doesn't do as he promised OOOH bet he is quaking in his boots, after all the red line in the sand by B.O. was such a threat.

B.O. played for a sucker and the US prestige diminished and this the low information voters and lame stream media think is somehow good because B.O. save his buttocks, but the country can go to hell in a hand basket and they wouldn't care.

That is the problem with affirmative action, at some point you have to cut bait and let the crap sink
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Obama getting his ass kicked ten ways to Sunday.
Change we can all believe in.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Great summation.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
"All in all, a thoughtful essay that, properly seen, helps us understand Obama’s foreign policy as it is seen by the rest of the world."

Up 'til Obama's last speech on Syria; the Muzzies like Khomeini et al thought that they had a friend in the WH. Come to find out; Obama is taking the traditional and staunch position alongside Israel and has indeed voiced his support in defending our closest allies; much to the dismay of Mr.Islam. So, Putin is about to be forced to eat his own words when he finds out how un-exceptional and small he is. Change is in the air. The U.N. has actually drawn the wrath of Susan Powers into daylight; she correctly and emphatically stated that the U.N. has indeed become a tool of oppression.
Interesting daze ahead.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
I can't tell if this is sarcasm.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
I don't think it's sarcasm, I think JTB is spewing puke, and just like a dog, is eating what he spits out.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
I am offended as an American that statist such as McCain, Graham and Menendez take offense and want to throw up as Putin declares "American Exceptionalism" a fantasy when the statist on both sides of the aisle in DC are destroying free markets and free trade that led to our exceptionalism.

It was Classical Liberalism that made America great, but yet the same idiots that are trying to destroy and fundamentally transform the nation are the first to object to the hard truth of their ideology and policies.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
You ended my day with laughter. Øbama is a sad sack but your essay was top flight.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
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