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Klavan On The Culture

Miley Hits Bottom

August 28th, 2013 - 3:24 pm

On their first date, my mother told my father, “I’m here to be entertained.” I guess it’s genetic, because this is pretty much the way I feel about life in general. So let me say I was grateful to Miley Cyrus for providing me with some big laughs this week. Listen, I didn’t even know the girl couldn’t sing, so I was very impressed to find out she can’t dance either. Always amazing to see a young person so multi-untalented.

And her incredibly bad Video Music Award performance gave us so very much more to enjoy as well.  There was Dennis Miller’s wonderfully succinct tweet: “Miley high, inch deep.” There was the brilliant remark from Brooke Shields who played the mother of Miley’s squeaky clean Disney character Hannah Montana:  ”Where did I go wrong?” That’s not only hilarious, it actually says something kind of profound about the nature of Miley’s reality, if reality is the word I want. And there was The Onion’s excellent mock column by the managing editor of CNN.com explaining why she decided to make Miley the website’s top story: “It was an attempt to get you to click on CNN.com so that we could drive up our web traffic, which in turn would allow us to increase our advertising revenue.”

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Top Rated Comments   
miley ho
48 weeks ago
48 weeks ago Link To Comment
Not that such an empty-souled shell of a person as Miley or her handlers would understand, but they are just mindlessly following the Zeitgeist of moral relativism, or as Nietzsche would put it, "erasing the horizon" - destroying all values, ethics, and morals. Of course it is always conveniently forgotten that Mussolini himself described fascism as moral relativism. The fascists cousins from the Marxist Frankfurt school also recommended a similar program of the destruction of all Judeo-Christian morality as a prerequisite to constructing their "Brave New World" on the ashes. The halfwits who degrade humanity by this stuff or the even lower functioning humans who applaud it of course will never get it. But somebody does.
48 weeks ago
48 weeks ago Link To Comment
miley WHO??????
48 weeks ago
48 weeks ago Link To Comment
All Comments   (40)
All Comments   (40)
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Mr. Klavan, if I may offer a minor correction to your statement, "the fact that people are looking to pop music for signs of the death of our culture..."

It would have been better if it said, "the fact that people are looking MTV for signs of the death of our culture is a sign of the death of our culture.."

Other than that, excellent work. Hahahaha!!!
47 weeks ago
47 weeks ago Link To Comment
And here I thought she was homely when she posed nude as a 15-year old...sheesh! So much for the ugly duckling theory. By the way, did she have a pair of Depends on, sticking out at the bottom/sides of her bodysuit, or what? Incontinence problem, Miley?
47 weeks ago
47 weeks ago Link To Comment
Thank you Mr. Klavan for an explosion of hot coffee out of the nostril & mouth - you owe me a new work outfit :)
48 weeks ago
48 weeks ago Link To Comment
Miley broke up recently with her fiance, the hunky Liam Hemsworth. I think he bailed and who can blame him?
48 weeks ago
48 weeks ago Link To Comment
As the author points out - now we know she can't dance either. And the bod wouldn't make the top five in the average strip bar.

But now I understand better what I observed the other night in a town park of an upscale suburban community while walking my dog. Three 14-15 year old cute blond haired girls practicing that " stick out your rear end and bounce it up and down" move. What are they thinking that's all about?

But perhaps the worse part about her MTV performance was that she was so bad at it. There seems to be a lack of self awareness and realism that pervades our culture - especially among the young people who have not yet been punched in the face based upon their ineptitude for the things they "like, really want to do in life". This doesn't help.
48 weeks ago
48 weeks ago Link To Comment
Ya know, you guys are all making fun of her mad skillz, but let me tell you, what she did was damn difficult. You try sticking your tongue that far out of your mouth and keeping it there for that long while you dance around like an idiot without biting yourself. I'm sure that once you've tried it, you'll have a new-found respect for young Ms. Cyrus. /snort
47 weeks ago
47 weeks ago Link To Comment
Great job raising your kid Billy Ray. You should be really proud. No wait, she's made you rich, so who cares. At least you'll have money to pay for her coming trips to rehab.
48 weeks ago
48 weeks ago Link To Comment
Wasn't sex a pretty big part of Billy Ray's success? He had the looks, he had the butt, he had the tight jeans, and he used them all to sell concert tickets.

Maybe Miley is just taking dad's business plan one step further.
48 weeks ago
48 weeks ago Link To Comment
Not yet. She still hasn't gone down the very deep rabbit hole of porn, or dating politicians.
48 weeks ago
48 weeks ago Link To Comment
She hasn't gone full Lohan yet. But I feel she's close...very close.
48 weeks ago
48 weeks ago Link To Comment
Funny. All the folks that give their kids cable, money to buy their products and to go to their shows are complaining? The "death" of the US culture is not due to the antics of the depraved.
48 weeks ago
48 weeks ago Link To Comment
A lot of kids' programming sells the "Hannah Montana" dream of being a rich, successful pop star. Not an astrounaut, not a doctor, not the President - a pop star.

When I was a kid, I watched The Monkees and the Partridge Family. I never got the feeling someone was whispering in my ear, "That could be YOU up there on that stage!" Shows like Hannah Montana, Big Time Rush, Glee, and others seem to be whispering exactly that - or rather, shouting it. A lot of contemporary music deals with the same theme: not love or other emotions, but material success.

Does anyone think we've raised a generation of materialists? With the help of the television and music industries?
48 weeks ago
48 weeks ago Link To Comment
My favorite of all this is the post circulating on Facebook with that iconic photo of Julie Andrews singing with arms outstretched in "The Sound of Music" The text says: This is me.... Not giving a s**t about Miley Cyrus.
48 weeks ago
48 weeks ago Link To Comment
Well, as I've suggested before, aside from the fodder the whole episode has provided cleverer minds than Ms. Cyrus's or her handlers' (hats off on this article, Mr. Kavan), the entire thing is more boring than shocking. So, Hanna Montana is imitating masturbation and buggery onstage. Is there anyone who didn't see this coming? Ten years ago? Top it? Shocking? Hell, at this point they could have a celebrity get dp'd on stage and it would STILL be lame. The entire "sex-as-shocking" thing has played itself out. Now all they have is the fumes of their own self-absorption and the ridicule of better minds to run on.
48 weeks ago
48 weeks ago Link To Comment
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