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Klavan On The Culture

A Joke for my Anniversary

May 31st, 2013 - 7:45 am

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Here’s one of my favorite political jokes in honor of my wedding anniversary:

Barack Obama, John Boehner and Harry Reid are traveling on Air Force One when the jet crashes and they are all killed. Barack Obama is immediately whisked off to a plain of eternal fire. Demons tear at him with pitchforks; hellhounds rip his flesh; flames engulf him. And a mighty voice from on high thunders: “BARACK OBAMA! THIS IS YOUR DOOM!”

John Boehner finds himself in an endless waste of ice. Ice devils scratch at him; hailstones pound him; freezing cold lashes his body. And a mighty voice from on high thunders: “JOHN BOEHNER! THIS IS YOUR DOOM!”

Harry Reid opens his eyes and finds himself in a spacious penthouse apartment in the clouds. The furnishings are lavish. Beautiful music plays on an amazing sound system. A crystal of single malt scotch is waiting for him on the stand near his plush armchair. The door opens and in walks Kate Upton in the sheerest possible negligee. And as the gorgeous super model moves slowly toward him, a mighty voice from on high thunders: “KATE UPTON…!”

I have been married 33 years. During that time, my wife and I have had one argument and a million laughs. Without sentimentality or exaggeration, I can honestly say it has been a romance out of a fairy tale. For me, it has been a gift from God and a taste of paradise.

For my wife? Well, I can only hope she doesn’t feel like Kate Upton in the joke!

****

Cross-posted at PJ Lifestyle.

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All Comments   (7)
All Comments   (7)
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At first the joke is funny... but when I think of Harry Reid's "hell" with Kate Upton I find myself tearing at my hair, and crying out for justice.

Happy anniversary, sir.
45 weeks ago
45 weeks ago Link To Comment
Congratulations to you and your wife on your anniversary Mr. Klavan. I'm sure there are many more to come.

And now for something completely different... I just watched the third chapter of Haunting Melissa. Aside from the genuinely spooky story, the way it is being told, ie. with video journals and text messages, (yes I saw those strange messages appearing on the sidebar in chapter 2), is mesmerizing. I haven't seen anything like this before. It is not something to watch half-heartedly. To paraphrase Arthur Miller: "Attention must be paid."
45 weeks ago
45 weeks ago Link To Comment
Happy anniversary, Mr. Klavan. I too have been blessed to have a wonderful woman for my wife the past 13 years.

I read her your joke, and she fell for it (and laughed) as much as I did!
46 weeks ago
46 weeks ago Link To Comment
Mr. Klavan,

Congratulations! My wife and I are also celebrating 33 years (in July). We've had plenty of laughs and, unfortunately, a lot more than one argument, but like you, it keeps getting better and better.

Happy Anniversary!
46 weeks ago
46 weeks ago Link To Comment
Good Joke. Congratulations...
46 weeks ago
46 weeks ago Link To Comment
Congratulations, and I hope you have many more.
46 weeks ago
46 weeks ago Link To Comment
Happy Anniversary and best wishes to you both. I'd say you have both been blessed.
46 weeks ago
46 weeks ago Link To Comment
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