Media Tries to Gin Up Another Crisis: This Time It's Spiders as Large as a 'Child's Hand'

This story is for all you arachnophobes out there who hope the idea of a spider invasion is too far-fetched to be true.

They’re coming. This spring, giant Joro spiders — as large “as a child’s hand” — will “parachute” up and down the East Coast. The spiders, native to Asia, hitched a ride in a shipping container and arrived in Georgia in 2014. Now, they’re ready to break out of Georgia and use their large webs to float on the wind for long distances.

The media is playing their usual role of ginning up hysteria. The Joros are going to get the full COVID treatment.

“Giant venomous spiders infiltrated the southeastern US and are expected to spread rapidly, experts say,” warns CNN.

“Large, Parachuting Spiders Could Soon Invade the East Coast, Study Finds,” claims The Smithsonian.

“Is the scary-looking jorō spider really coming to the Northeast U.S. and Philly?” wonders the Philadelphia Inquirer.

How scary is it, really?

Millions of palm sized Joro spiders are predicted to take over the east coast this year. They snuck inside a shipping container back in 2014, invading the United States and the population has only grown. “People need to learn how to live with them” pic.twitter.com/DUYLjChMmP

— SAY CHEESE! 👄🧀 (@SaycheeseDGTL) March 8, 2022

The Joro is such wonderful clickbait, it’s amazing people are only becoming aware of it now. Must be a slow news day.

My motivation is entirely professional, I can assure you. But as far as ginning up hysteria, making the Joro spider into public enemy number one, I’m all for it. The well is running kid of dry on COVID stories so now we have to create another “public health crisis.” What’s more natural than doing that than with a venomous spider that’s as big as the width of your hand?

Fox News:

Davis said people should try to learn to live with the orb weavers.

Experts say that Joros are not a threat to humans or pets and won’t bite them unless they are feeling very threatened. Joros are venomous, according to NPR, but their fangs are usually too small to break human skin.

Their impact on native species and the environment is also unclear – though some researchers believe they are benign.

“Usually too small” to bite is not very reassuring when talking about a venomous spider. That’s because although the fangs are usually too small, sometimes they aren’t. Sometimes, those fangs — dripping with venom — are large enough to take a chunk out of your arm. So beware and be afraid.

I’m really trying here.

It will be hard turning a spider into public enemy number one. But the media has done it with far less to work with. I predict they’ll be able to do it again with little effort.