Noa Argamani survived the Oct. 7, 2023, Hamas atrocities as her friends perished around her, and she survived captivity in Gaza while other hostages died excruciating deaths. While she has returned to Israel, she still struggles every day with the pain and loss of these experiences. How does a survivor of such hellish crimes rebuild her life?
Argamani became one of the most famous victims of October 7 after video of her begging Hamas terrorists not to kill her as they sped off to Gaza on a motorcycle went viral. Israeli forces rescued her almost 250 days later. Her then-boyfriend, Avinatan Or, also survived over 700 days of captivity in Gaza, but others who were at the Nova music festival with them never came home.
Three years later, Argamani is struggling to find a path toward some semblance of normalcy. She was still working to complete her pre-October 7 degree this year and she and Or decided to end their romantic relationship after realizing their traumas were preventing them from moving forward as a couple. Simply because she lived and others did not, she sometimes suffers survivor’s guilt. For the third anniversary of the October 7 massacre, Argamani reflected on the ongoing pain.
THREE YEARS. Three years since the moment my life changed forever. Even now, it feels so unreal that sometimes I still can’t fully comprehend that I was kidnapped and taken to Gaza. Sometimes it feels like it was all just a nightmare I somehow woke up from. But at the same time, the pain is always here. It never really leaves, and sometimes, it only gets stronger. This year, when I went to visit the graves of my friends, I felt like it had somehow become even harder. Maybe because the hostages are finally home. Maybe because I’m no longer part of that fight. Or maybe because everyone else has already graduated, moved to Tel Aviv, and started their careers. And you remain there, like a memory from another life. A life that was innocent, young, and happy. A group of friends simply enjoying life, dreaming big, with no idea how quickly everything could change. I miss you every single day. With every step I take, on every path I choose, I find myself wondering what it would be like if you were still here beside me. As more time passes, I realize that soon, more time will have passed since we lost you than the amount of time I actually had the chance to know you. And that is something I still can’t accept. To me, you are always with me. And for those of us who have lost someone we love, it isn’t easy to watch the world keep moving when some people’s lives simply stopped. It isn’t easy to live with the guilt of being the ones who are still here. But we have to keep going, because that is what they would have wanted for us. We have to learn to live alongside the pain. Embrace it. Forgive it. Understand it. But at the same time, keep looking forward. Give yourself permission to LIVE.
— Noa Argamani (@ArgamaniNoa) October 7, 2026
Argamani explained that “the pain is always here. It never really leaves, and sometimes, it only gets stronger. This year, when I went to visit the graves of my friends, I felt like it had somehow become even harder.”
She is not sure why that is true. “Maybe because the hostages are finally home. Maybe because I’m no longer part of that fight. Or maybe because everyone else has already graduated, moved to Tel Aviv, and started their careers. And you remain there, like a memory from another life. A life that was innocent, young, and happy. A group of friends simply enjoying life, dreaming big, with no idea how quickly everything could change.”
Related: Hamas, Palestinians Mark Oct. 7 by Celebrating and Attacking Israeli Shepherds
Addressing her murdered friends, Argamani wrote, “I miss you every single day. With every step I take, on every path I choose, I find myself wondering what it would be like if you were still here beside me. As more time passes, I realize that soon, more time will have passed since we lost you than the amount of time I actually had the chance to know you. And that is something I still can’t accept. To me, you are always with me.”
She reflected, “And for those of us who have lost someone we love, it isn’t easy to watch the world keep moving when some people’s lives simply stopped. It isn’t easy to live with the guilt of being the ones who are still here. But we have to keep going, because that is what they would have wanted for us.”
Being a survivor does not simply mean coming out of captivity alive. It also requires making the choice every day to keep going. “We have to learn to live alongside the pain,” Argamani argued. “Embrace it. Forgive it. Understand it. But at the same time, keep looking forward. Give yourself permission to LIVE.”
The pain of October 7 will never end for the people who lost loved ones. They have to rebuild in spite of trauma.