Not All Celebrity Hacks are Considered Equal

“100 Celebrities Caught in Risque Photo Scandal, Hacker ‘On the Run,'” Kelli Serio writes at Big Hollywood on what some Internet wags have quickly dubbed “The Fappening.” (Sorry — but hey, I just report the news, folks). Despite its seemingly humorous initial appearance, the penalties for the hacker(s) involved could be serious:

The hacking of celebrity accounts has become increasingly popular throughout the years. Paris Hilton was said to be one of the first celebrities involved in such a violation, after her cell photos were stolen in 2005.

Just two years ago, a Florida man was prosecuted and sentenced to ten years in a federal prison for pirating nude photos and e-mail account information from Scarlett Johansson, Christina Aguilera, and Mila Kunis.

The Independent reported this morning that the unidentified hacker is now threatening to release video footage of Jennifer Lawrence engaging in a sexual act. The individual was speculated to be accepting donations, via Paypal, for the video.

“I know no one will believe me, but I have a short Lawrence video,” the hacker wrote.

The Daily Mail released information this afternoon about today’s mystery thief, who has now thanked his “supporters” and accomplices just before fleeing his first location. He has referred to himself as the “original guy” and admitted that he acquired a team to pull off the conspiracy, which apparently took months of hard work.

“Guys, just to let you know. I didn’t do this by myself,” he declared. “I will soon be moving to another location from which I will continue to post.”

FBI involvement is promising, as per Jennifer Lawrence’s request, while the hunt for the serial hacker continues.

Of course, not all unsealing of private documents is considered bad by the far left, or as Ann Coulter dubbed it in 2012, when Mr. Obama’s allies were hot to pour through Mitt Romney’s tax returns, “Obama’s signature move.” This excerpt from Coulter’s column details only one of the several times the recently retired politician’s staff have employed it to enable his quick rise to power over the past decade:

As luck would have it, Obama’s opponent in the general election had also been divorced! Jack Ryan was tall, handsome, Catholic — and shared a name with one of Harrison Ford’s most popular onscreen characters! He went to Dartmouth, Harvard Law and Harvard Business School, made hundreds of millions of dollars as a partner at Goldman Sachs, and then, in his early 40s, left investment banking to teach at an inner city school on the South Side of Chicago.

Ryan would have walloped Obama in the Senate race. But at the request of — again — the Chicago Tribune, California Judge Robert Schnider unsealed the custody papers in Ryan’s divorce five years earlier from Hollywood starlet Jeri Lynn Ryan, the bombshell Borg on “Star Trek: Voyager.”

Jack Ryan had released his tax records. He had released his divorce records. But both he and his ex-wife sought to keep the custody records under seal to protect their son.

Amid the 400 pages of filings from the custody case, Jack Ryan claimed that his wife had had an affair, and she counterclaimed with the allegation that he had taken her to “sex clubs” in Paris, New York and New Orleans, which drove her to fall in love with another man.

(Republicans: If you plan a career in public office, please avoid marrying a wacko.)

Ryan had vehemently denied her allegations at the time, but it didn’t matter. The sex club allegations aired on “Entertainment Tonight,” “NBC Nightly News,” ABC’s “Good Morning America,” “The Tonight Show With Jay Leno,” and NBC’s “Today” show. CNN covered the story like it was the first moon landing.

(Interestingly, international papers also were ablaze with the story — the same newspapers that were supposed to be so bored with American sexual mores during Bill Clinton’s sex scandal.)

Four days after Judge Schnider unsealed the custody records, Ryan dropped out of the race for the horror of (allegedly) propositioning his own wife and then taking “no” for an answer.

Alan Keyes stepped in as a last-minute Republican candidate.

And that’s how Obama became a U.S. senator. He destroyed both his Democratic primary opponent and his Republican general election opponent with salacious allegations about their personal lives taken from “sealed” court records.

Coulter’s article was published on August 1st. Less than two months later, a hacked video that the media similarly covered like a moon landing (or Missouri riot) would signal the beginning of the end of Romney’s presidential bid: