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Roger L. Simon

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Riddle me this, oh Riddler — what do U.S. Sec’y of State John Kerry and Iranian Supreme Leader Ayatollah Khamenei have in common?

Well, a few things.

One, they’re both billionaires who didn’t earn the money themselves. Kerry married it (twice) and Khamenei evidently stole it from his people. (Khamenei is also apparently a BMW dealer, something Kerry has not tried, to my knowledge.)

Two, they both want Iran to have the bomb, but neither of them will admit it. In fact, they both say the opposite. Khamenei insists Iran is operating all those centrifuges for peaceful purposes only (never mind all the cheap oil sitting under the ground), and Kerry claims he would never allow the Iranians to have the bomb in the current negotiations (until the French said he did just that — ignoring the Arak heavy water reactor, which is a literal plutonium bomb factory).

Thirdly, they don’t much care for the state of Israel. Khamenei publicly despises the “Little Satan,” as everyone knows. Whatever he really thinks about the Jewish state, it’s the perfect convenient villain while he rips his country off and assassinates various local enemies who might threaten his empire.

Kerry, to hasten peace talks no one wants, insists Israel pull back from settlements that were already included as Israeli territory in land exchanges from umpteen previous peace proposals. He also threatens Israel with ostracism, perhaps finally to annihilate traces of his own Jewish roots that miraculously surfaced during some election campaign (shades of Madeleine Albright — what is it about these “liberals” that makes them so clueless about their pasts, animosity for ancestry.com?).

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"Everything Kerry does is cleared through, most likely dictated by, Obama"

I believe you misspelled "Jarrett." Common mistake.
37 weeks ago
37 weeks ago Link To Comment
i>Over my four years at Yale, I maintained a 96 grade average and received a 101 average in my senior year.

Which must’ve made it all the more painful when you were turned down by both Harvard Law Tool and Yale Law Tool, and relegated to attending the law tool at Boston College.

I am also a great war hero. I set all kinds of records for heroism when I was in Vietnam. I was grievously wounded at least three times yet continued to insist on staying in the fight…

The first time you were hurt was when you shot into a pile of rice, hit a rock beneath, and caught a ricochet of that left a half inch wound in your arm. When you went to the field surgeon for treatment, the doctor screamed at you for being a pussy and threw you out so he could treat real injuries. Luckily, you were somehow awarded a Purple Heart for an injury that didn’t even require stitches.

You stuck it out for nearly 3 months before the Navy saw to it that you were removed from the Swift Boat company. But more luck: when a sailor fell into the water during one engagement, you went back to pick him up, and the guy was wet but ok. Even though picking up sailors who’d fallen into the drink from their swift boats was routine, somehow you got a Silver Star for that selfless act of heroism.

Then you began unilateral negotiations with the Communists running North Vietnam, even while still in the Naval Reserve. This of course is disloyal and a crime against the military criminal code, but luckily that great American Jimmy Carter interceded on the pissed of Naval brass and quietly had your service record permanently sealed.

With a military record like that, me, I was disappointed to see you take over State when it woulda been better to have you take over Defense.
37 weeks ago
37 weeks ago Link To Comment
John Kerry's FaceBook entry:

Hi there fellow bloggers. My name is United States Senator John Forbes Kerry from the great state of Massachusetts. You can call me JFK if you want.I was born on December 11, 1943, although people tell me that I look at least 20 years younger. It's probably my great hair and rugged good looks. I graduated from Yale in June 1966 in the top 1% of my class. To earn extra money during the summers, I loaded trucks in a grocery warehouse and sold encyclopedias door to door. That is probably one of the reasons that I am so humble. Over my four years at Yale, I maintained a 96 grade average and received a 101 average in my senior year.

I am one of the most senior members of that grand and much loved and respected institution known as the U.S. Senate. Probably the only Senator who was even a little bit greater than me and a little more humble was my dear friend Ted Moore Kennedy. I also have a very high IQ. Very high. At least 250 on a bad day. Much higher than that creep who stole the election from me. I know that he stole it because exit polls are never ever wrong.

I am also a great war hero. I set all kinds of records for heroism when I was in Vietnam. I was grievously wounded at least three times yet continued to insist on staying in the fight when lesser men would have given up. I won the bronze star with extra V's for extra valor and the Silver Star for defeating a whole battalion of NVA with my bare hands. Sometimes I feel like a had to carry all the water for those other ungrateful swiftboaters.

I sometimes like to chill out after a long day of serving the American people by having a double martini with my good friend Ted, although I can't do that now as he has stopped drinking. We used to have a servant bring 21 double martinis. I got one and Ted got one for each of his fingers and each of his toes. Contrary to what some of my very few enemies say I never marry women for just their money. They must also have a pulse. BTW, did I mention that I was in Vietnam? I was also in Cambodia, so don't forget that!

I would like to think that I am open minded, honest, polite, heroic, trustworthy and humble. And I appreciate the same qualities in others although I am realistic enough to know that no one else could come close to me. Turn offs: other politicians who spend more on haircuts than I do. That is just not right. BTW, if anyone has found my Magic Hat, please return to me and I will give you an autographed picture of myself which I am sure you will cherish as your most prized possession.
37 weeks ago
37 weeks ago Link To Comment
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All Comments   (30)
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my classmate's mother-in-law makes $62 an hour on the internet. She has been fired from work for 5 months but last month her payment was $21997 just working on the internet for a few hours. More Help....... www.Rush64.com
36 weeks ago
36 weeks ago Link To Comment
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WWW.fly31.COM
36 weeks ago
36 weeks ago Link To Comment
NO LIST OF COMMON TRAITES BETWEEN

Khamenei and Kerry would be complete without mentioning that the former is a supreme ass, and the latter (like his boss) leads from beHeinz.
www.apollospeaks.com
36 weeks ago
36 weeks ago Link To Comment
The illegal evil terrorist state of israel has to be destroyed. There was no state called israel. It was Palestine from time immemorial Would the British have forcibly taken Palestine and created israel if Paslestine was a christian country. Most certainly not. Evil israel's got to go.
36 weeks ago
36 weeks ago Link To Comment
John Kerry is the smartest person I've ever heard of. Didn't your mother ever tell you "It's just as easy to fall in love with a rich girl than it is with a poor girl!" Did I listen? No. Neither did anybody else I know. But Kerry did it -- twice!
37 weeks ago
37 weeks ago Link To Comment
hello. Bring Our Troops Home NOW .
37 weeks ago
37 weeks ago Link To Comment
Why the long face, John?
37 weeks ago
37 weeks ago Link To Comment
Thank God Roger Simon has figured this out; and just in the nick of time.
37 weeks ago
37 weeks ago Link To Comment
Also, both Kerry and Khamenei would appreciate it if you would pay much more attention to global warming than Iranian nukes.
37 weeks ago
37 weeks ago Link To Comment
People, can we give O and Kerry a break by suspending all this harsh judgmental stuff for a while? They chase after progressive ‘chimeras’—as the French referred to any deal with Iran—for ungrateful slobs like us. O and Kerry, and all progressives for that matter, are far too precious a public resource to waste or hold back whenever they see a wrong that needs to be righted—like the one about sanctions having the intended effect of slowing Iran’s bomb program.

That said…it's very likely that Kerry and O were each looking at his reflection in a mirror when the news flash hit that the mullahs would probably cheat on any deal with the Great Satan. But what’s a little bothersome reality compared to playing the part of globe straddling progressive who brought peace to a troubled region if only in his dreams?
37 weeks ago
37 weeks ago Link To Comment
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