Who's Next?

Birds of a feather, and all that: the Peaceful and Tolerant Left loves nothing better than heroic, godlike, even martial imagery as it pursues its relentless agenda to remake the world by any means necessary. Remember: they never stop, they never sleep, they never quit. Vorwaerts in die Zukunft!

In the Beginning were the German Beards:

And there were Beards

And the Beards were good. The Beards were also inspirational. Although they flopped in Germany and Britain, they managed to convince the Russians to pick up hammers and sickles and begin slaughtering millions of their fellow citizens, in order to show them the Light — like these guys:

Die Strahlen der Sonne vertreiben die Nacht

And these guys:

The People, united, will never be defeated

The Beard on the next page really knew how to rouse the rabble to mass murder:

‘This struggle must be organised, according to “all the rules of the art”, by people who are professionally engaged in revolutionary activity.’

Lenin is right up there on the list of Worst Human Beings of All Time, and the evil that he did lives on after him. After his death, the Russians embalmed him in the hopes that he, at least symbolically, would rise again; to this day, they still replace what’s obviously a wax dummy whenever it shows signs of melting, perhaps due to its proximity to Hades. Here he is again with his buddies Marx and Engels and a couple of other guys:

Looking Left, into the Future — hey, wait a minute, that’s the Past!

Now, before you complain that Adolf Hitler was a man of the Right, please remember that the name of his political movement was the National SOCIALIST German WORKERS Party. He didn’t have a Beard, but he had a hell of a Mustache. He was great believer in one man, one vote, one time:

‘Workers with the brow and the fist — vote for the Front Soldier, Hitler’

Once in office, Hitler made it pretty clear that he was not just a man, he was a movement unto himself. The entire German nation would henceforth act in concert according to the so-called Fuehrer-Prinzip, which basically meant Do It My Way or Die.

Loosely translated: ‘We’re all in this together’

Hitler wanted other nations to see the Light of collectivity, so when he got hungry for half of Poland as part of the Drang nach Osten, he happily jungled up with his fellow socialist, Iosif Vissarionovich Dzhugashvili — Stalin to you — as they collectively devoured Europe. What a lovely couple they made:

Men, marching… marching

Alas, it couldn’t last, and in 1941 it all went smash when Hitler launched Operation Barbarossa, to his eternal regret. Because it was this guy — another Mustache — who came out on top:

Hitler loved kids, too, but not as much as Uncle Joe

Uncle Adolph loved kids, too, but not as much as Uncle Joe

The evil that he did lived on after him as well. In fact, thanks to the Frankfurt School and their seditious notion of “Critical Theory,” — basically, attack everything — it hopped across the Atlantic and landed in the Americas:

Vsia vlast’ Sovetam!

It also took root in South America, where this chic racist anti-Semitic homophobe got himself shot to death, which actually turned out to be a good career move:

Hey, it worked for Elvis

After the Berlin Wall came down and the Soviet Union collapsed less than two years later, it looked for a while that the world had had enough of socialist iconography. Surely, after a century of death, destruction and abject failure in every realm except the body count, nobody could take this sort of juvenile posturing seriously ever again. Surely they understood that politicians were simply very ambitious and completely untrustworthy people. Right?

Oops:

Okay, so that was a very effective ad campaign. But there’s no way the independent, professional, watchdog media would fall prey to such obvious hero-worship. Right?

Like Star Wars, only not

Well, what do you expect from a rock-and-roll publication put out by an aging hippie? What about a legit news magazine?

Not that we mean that literally

Oh well, the Obama administration only has a couple more years to run, the bloom is off the rose, the economy is still in the ditch, health care has been destroyed for millions, the dollar is worthless and — since everything old is new again — we’re talking about Poland once more. Surely we won’t get fooled again, will we?