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3 Excruciating Reasons Not to Cheat on Your Wife

Besides gonorrhea and the heat of Hell, also learn from Bill Clinton: don't tell a woman like Gennifer Flowers your wife's embarrassing secrets!

by
Megan Fox

Bio

September 20, 2013 - 2:00 pm
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gennifer1Picture it: You’re on a business trip and that girl from marketing with the low cut blouse is handing you a hotel key and offering a no-strings attached night of heaven and your wife will never find out. Before you make a move, consider the following very good reasons to say no.

agony

3. You could break your penis.

No seriously, you could. There was an actual study done on this. People were actually paid to study the fractured penis and it turns out, it happens mostly to cheaters as reported by Dr. Andrew Kramer.

The heightened risk appears to be due to the unconventional situations, and consequently, locations, surrounding sexual acts, the researchers said. Men in the study who had suffered penis fractures commonly were having sex in unusual settings, including in restrooms or at work, when the injury occurred. The majority were having extramarital affairs.

In such atypical situations, sex may be rushed and involve unusual or awkward sexual positions, Kramer said.

Ouch. Is there a cast for this injury? That’s gotta be an awkward recovery.

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All Comments   (9)
All Comments   (9)
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4. Security cameras.

I remember having a conversation with a security guard in our building back in Maryland and he told me about seeing a couple (whom he knew were not married to each other, don't know how) fooling around in the bushes in the parking lot.

This is also a reason, by the way, to watch where you adjust your clothing.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
"Here’s a better idea. Take $6,000 and take your wife on a 2nd honeymoon and fall in love with her again."

Very good advice, even if you're NOT having marital problems.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Uuuuck, and howabout when she told us what great sex techniques she learned from Bill (the very same she uses when doling out advice on her new sex column for Penthouse). But the absolute worst was when she said she'd vote for Hillary because Hillary is a woman!! Shhheeeeeet, it's like, ya, we voted for Obama cuz he's Black, (check) now, hey, lets vote for a woman cuz she's a woman (check). IDIOTS!!!!
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
How about it's one of the 10 big no nos?

1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
So, how about some reasons why women shouldn't cheat on their husbands, AND why the unmarried shouldn't be boinking someone's spouse?
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Hillary being bi-sexual is not new news. I heard of her predilictions from Hugh Rodham's college roommate sometime during the late 1980's while Bill and Hill were still occupying the governor's mansion in Little Rock.
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
of course it's not new news...I heard the same and rumors about her relationship with then roommate Donna Shelalah (sp?) but what I found particularly disturbing was Flowers' description of Bill's admission of it. Blearrrrghhhhhh!
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Shalala. Google is easy!
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
Well Bill was a Rhodes scholar and as old Cecil himself said they should possess the following traits: "smugness, brutality, unctuous rectitude, and tact."
1 year ago
1 year ago Link To Comment
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