6 Lies You Should Tell Your Kids
Honesty isn’t always the best policy when it comes to reasoning with small children. Being totally honest with your children is a noble thought and in a perfect world it would certainly be considered the best practice.
However, the world isn’t perfect, and young children are not compact adults. In fact, the world is too complex and dangerous to expect the under-seven crowd to grasp the total truth on most issues. It’s hard enough trying to get them to grasp personal hygiene, let alone an ugly reality.
Young children possess limited reasoning and coping skills. Just because a child is old enough to ask if his military dad might die in Afghanistan doesn’t mean he should carry the burden of worry every day that his father could be killed.
Lies come in all shades, sizes, and colors. My rules for what constitutes a legal parental lie have more to do with childhood fantasy, health, hygiene, and safety.
If you’re not sure about what constitutes what I call a permissible lie, here is my basic rule of thumb. One day, with a little more age and maturity, my child will not only realize I lied, but also understand why — all in the span of one epiphany.
Establishing truth and trust is important for a healthy, happy childhood. You tell stories to your children and keep them safe, and build trust in your relationship as they grow. Wise parents will do so without destroying their innocence.
A few well-placed lies, or crafted stories handed down from generation to generation, can color a childhood with imagination, protect children from their immaturity, and shield children from the adult burden of understanding the truth of real evil.
From the most harmless fibs to verbal shields of protection, here are six lies we tell our children.
Oh, thou varlet. Thou vile despoiler of innocent youth. Hast thou no sense whatsoever for the trauma your poor misled youngling will suffer when he grows old enough to learn the truth? The rewriting of the laws of the universe would be a small thing in comparison!
But seriously, in a choice between an outright lie and “Because I said so,” there are sometimes reasons to prefer the former. However, an assessment of Junior’s mental capacity, the extent of his reading, and the breadth of his friendships and acquaintances should be taken before one steps onto the rocky path of falsehood. After all, you don’t want him to find out you’ve deceived him too soon after you’ve done so. He should first reach an age when the shock is unlikely to push him over an emotional precipice. Say, about thirty.
Why didn’t you include the “your dead pet goes to heaven” trope?
Who is to say it doesn’t?
“If there are no dogs in Heaven, then when I die I want to go where they went.”
― Will Rogers
Great. Get started early on the process of undercutting your child’s trust in you and the world at large. That’s how you make little Leftists and conservatives.
What makes you think you would stop at these six little white lies? They are so *convenient*. One more here, one more there, so much easier than actual parenting — you know, the sort that involves teaching them to think instead of subverting their connection to reality. Once you’ve permitted the principle, there’s nothing to stop it from becoming the rule.
The next thing you know, you discover that your kid has acquired a generalized anger at the world, because it doesn’t work the way he was trained to think it did. He doesn’t remember the particulars, of course, since the betrayals he feels happened somewhere, occurred when he was little — but he knows they happened. He’ll wonder what else you told him is a lie. You know, like maybe that stuff about being a good person or working for a living.
Or worse: he’ll figure that *lying* is really the way the world works, if mommy’s actions are any guide.
If you are lucky, he’ll self-repair by the time he graduates high school. If the rest of us aren’t, the state will be handling his room and board more often than not.
I do not believe in telling lies to children or to anyone else. The sole exception would be lies told to save innocent human life: telling the Gestapo (or the lynch mob) that you don’t know where their intended victim is.
For instance, tell your children the truth about “Santa Claus.” The life of Saint Nikola of Myra is a far more inspiring story than any folk legend about “Santa Claus” could ever be. “Saint Nick” is a man that you and your children should try to emulate! The real “Saint Nick” was a HERO who fought against tyranny and injustice.
Seerak, your comment makes no sense. It’s just mean spirited and elitist – like the mentality of a liberal.
???
What part of “if you lie to your children you will undermine their trust in you” does not make sense to you?
Or is lying just so much a part of your character that you cannot conceive of NOT lying to people who trust you?
He thinks I’m like “a liberal”, when my OP has all the telltales of my being an Objectivist — much farther away from being a Leftist than conservatives are.
It just goes to show: when all you have is a hammer…
Seriously? While I don’t agree with some of hers, I doubt her children grew up traumatized with anger issues. Some little white lies are better than the bald truth and making your kid neurotic. No Santa? Or Tooth Fairy? I think every parent has had that moment their 9 yr old (or so) looked at them and said–’You’re Santa Claus’–to which I said ‘Are you sure?’ When we both knew they knew, I said ‘don’t tell your little brother’. Life is long, and there will be plenty of time to about big things, let them be kids until they aren’t.
You speak like a leftist, or other immature person.
He didn’t say anything about growing up “traumatized with anger issues”.
He talked about trust, or the lack of it.
Your children will not trust you as a parent should be trusted, nor should they.
You are not trustworthy.
Since you endorse lying, you have no right to complain when politicians lie to you.
As a child who was told that Santa existed, I completely disagree. I still remember how it felt to learn that my Mom, who I completely trusted, lied to me. It is not okay to ignore reality and science, and lie when you want to control someone’s behavior. Children are people, and they deserve to be treated like people.
I suggest these alternatives:
6. The Tooth Fairy is a fun, make-believe character, which has a fun story that we play along with. It’s a pretending game.
5. Coffee has caffeine, which is only for adult bodies. Like alcohol.
4. We don’t play with ourselves, because those are our private parts, and they aren’t toys.
3. Picking your nose spreads germs to your hands, which might cause someone to get sick.
2. We’re trying a new food today, as an adventure. It’s delicious. I made a side dish I know you like to go with it, in case you don’t like the new food.
1. This is the grown-up ladies room, but children can go in both.
Was it really so hard to tell the truth?
…and we should give our children sensible accounting software to play with instead of toys.
Mr. Mayo:
Sir, you win best comment of the day!
One’s own imagination does not equal being deceived by others. Toys are not lies.
I see the two of you never outgrew *those* particular lies.
Regarding #5: Caffeine in moderation actually helps people (of any age) to concentrate, and helps cognitive abilities. Kids can have a small amount of coffee or tea in the morning (if they like coffee or tea), but not later in the day, without any harm. But don’t put sugar in it. Good coffee or tea doesn’t need sugar anyway!
Actually, of that age group, #1 isn’t really a lie.
#3, while the nose cancer is not true, it is true that you can break your nose doing that.
You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends. But you can’t pick your friend’s nose.
So that’s what I’ve been doing wrong all these years.
2. We’re trying a new food today, eat it.
There, FIFY.
Best to stick with the truth, lying is for fools.
Liar.
You know what works even better, and doesn’t require dishonesty or having a child later distrust authority or whatever?
1) “Because I said so.”
Backed up by:
2) spanking if 1 doesn’t work.
Worked for me just fine, and I NEVER doubted my parents’ sincerity. That said, #1 works well since it isn’t lying. The question of which bathroom the kid will go into unattended is not at question.
Yeah, and good luck with carrying out #2 in public.
As for “because I said so,” that smacks of public school teachers, the EPA, and Michelle Obama.
Now, I was born in 1957, and my oldest son in 1983. However my mom’s & my response to a 3 yr. old running out in the street from between parked cars? Exactly the same – kid grabbed by the arm, turned around, and administered several swats. Believe it or not, even way back in 1960, there were several older women standing around watching my mom and “tsk tsking”: “HOW could you spank that adorable little girl?” Mom: “Would you rather watch me spank her, or while she was killed by a car?!”
So, I do believe in spanking, but think it should be used sparingly for the most horrid and/or life-threatening bhvrs. (Mom also used to threaten to “slap that look right off your face” — THAT went kinda far. At least I wasn’t crying, screaming, sassing, & so on. How does a little kid control their face? Once I even got spanked for not being able to stop crying — from being spanked)
I never had to be spanked in public. I was disciplined well enough at home that it carried over, and so when my parents told me to do something in public, I did it. I knew the consequences. They also taught me why acting out was bad, ugly and disrespectful.
Secondly, parents have every right to command by edict (within the realms of law and sanity). The liberal nannies you mention, do not–and that’s why when they do it, it is so horrible. But that you would view such use of parental authority in such a light is telling.
It is very ironic that the national socialists who refuse to discipline their children in a public place actually demand that nobody smokes, eats tofu and drives a Prius.
Behold the mis-wired brain.
Bingo!
Would you say:
“The tooth fairy exists!”
1) “Because I said so.”
Backed up by:
2) spanking if 1 doesn’t work.
Oh yes, because conditioning your kid to see all authority as arbitrary, to blindly follow or blindly rebel against — notice the constancy of “blind” there — is just so much better than feeding them lies!
I had LOTS of conversations and gave occasional lectures on the whys of the do’s and don’ts. That was very effective. No lies required. (Except the tooth fairy and Santa Claus, of course. Gotta have them!)
I agree that telling your kids a few fibs might not be a bad idea for certain things, especially when it comes to safety. My mom used to point at oil spots on the road where we were walking and tell me they were the remains of little children that didn’t look both ways before crossing the street and got creamed by cars. I believed it till I was like oh…23? And you know what? I never crossed a street before making absolutely sure there were no cars coming. I’d say that was a pretty well-placed lie on Mom’s part.
I never lie to kids.
CHILD (figuring it out): You are the tooth fairy!!!
DAVE: Yup.
And, no lie was ever told. In fact, I was the tooth fairy (and still am, if the necessity arises).
I also don’t get into arguments with kids over matters of discipline. I’m the grown up, they’re the kids. I make the rules. They follow the rules.
End of discussion.
If there’s an honest question about why a rule is a rule, then I’ll try to explain it, but the bottom line is that I make the rules, and I will be obeyed.
My philosophy exactly. I don’t lie to the kids because I don’t have to in order for them to behave properly. We sure didn’t lie about St. Nick or the Easter Bunny, since we’re Catholic there was no reason to.
If I had one piece of advice for parents, it would be “Pick your battles wisely and make sure you win.” Not every conflict is worth laying down the law, but when I mean it, they know it. It’s especially useful as they get older and can spot an idle threat a mile away.
So as teenagers, they know that when I say, “If you do (insert bad behavior here), I’ll be on you like white on rice,” they absolutely know it’s true. And no one wants their mommy following them all around the town, night and day.
Another variation on the Santa “lie” (which I find totally acceptable, and so much fun for kids AND parents) and how mom explained it:
Me: Hey, YOU’RE Santa Claus! (or, “Suzy said …”)
Mom: Well, if that’s what you think, and you’re sure you know –
Me: Yes, I’m sure.
Mom: You’re SURE you’re sure?
Me: (hesitation) Why do you ask, when YOU know you’re Santa?
Mom: (twinkly eyes) Because if you don’t believe in Santa, he doesn’t come anymore. But you do realize Santa’s really a symbol of the spirit of the season, right?
Me: (no dummy) Well, I’ll hafta think about that.
We had a longer conversation later in which she explained why it’s never a good idea to tell younger children one’s “suspicions”, but she never really admitted there wasn’t a Santa Claus. I did the same w/my kiddos. To this day, our family — wherever most of us gather for Christmas — has little gifts & surprises we slip in each others’ stockings; things we’ve spotted over the year that we know someone likes, has been looking for, etc., ranging from a pepper grinder to an antique amethyst bracelet. Sometimes everyone has full stockings, sometimes there’s an imbalance, but all these gifts are given & recvd with full & grateful hearts.
Since I didn’t like the idea of some girly little fairy coming into my boy’s rooms I made up the Tooth Cowboy with a grittier edge to the tale.
I have a policy of not lying to my sons who are now fifteen and twelve.
I never needed any of the above lies. Truth and logic worked for me.
“No honey, it’s Bambi and Thumper, not chicken.”
Honesty above all.
I remember when I began to suspect Santa and the Easter Bunny were fictions. Ithought about asking Mom, but then thought about how hard she worked to give us those fantasies. Easter mornings were a scavenger hunt using rhymed clues she had hidden all over the house and yard. Christmas mornings there was always some article of clothing or sleigh equippment (bells) Santa had dropped by the fireplace.
Thanks Mom. Miss you.
No one has mentioned the obvious: where do babies come from? And how about this variation? On a visit to Tunisia, we visited the ruin of an ancient Roman town. The guide pointed to a stone signpost depicting a penis, indicating the way to a brothel. Unfortunately, it didn’t pass my daughter by, and after the tour, she wanted to know what that was all about. I had a hard time!
Rhonda, Thanks for the Lazy, Liberal claptrap! You lie to children not for their benefit but because it is easier than knowing and distilling the facts to a child’s level. The probability of Daddy being killed in Afghanistan is statistically the same as Daddy being killed anywhere. The difference, which need not be spoken, being there someone is trying, but then, we work to prevent that. “Daddy is as safe there as he is here.” Santa never “came” to our house. Our children learned and took on the celebration of the great gift of the light of the world. They were taught about the real St Nicholas, and his giving without expectation of return.
In the shadeless world of the child, one lie makes Momma a lier!
Robert: This odd pro petty deceit article appears in what I think of the Ladies Pages of PJM, where all sorts of nuttiness is accepted for print. Mostly, I just pass over the half-baked half-ideas that show up in this section some how. But teaching your children to lie is something else.
And her lies are so stupid, trivial and banal; there is no value in them.
If you feel you must lie to your children, lie to them about things that are worth believing even if they cannot be proven to be true.
Such as: There is a god. Good will triumph over evil. Truth and honor matter. True love never dies.
These ‘lies’ could bring a nobility of character, sustain your children during hard times and enrich their lives.
The biggest and best lie of all? Santa Clause. It’s the only time of year parents have the upper hand over kids 24/7, because you can always say that “Santa will not come unless you’re good.” And then they magically listen to you because they want Santa to come.
But what I want to know is, how do you get that to work when they’re 18?
LibertyShip46
But what I want to know is, how do you get that to work when they’re 18?
Car keys
Dunno…I was in the military @ 18.
Well, then, Mom isn’t telling you what to do anymore is she? heh (and thank you for your service)
Well OK, but the thing is kids can accept the lie without really believing in it, really taking it “because Mommy says so” even if Mommy doesn’t quite put it that way. Kids learn early that some stuff is make-believe.
Most kids are drinking energy drinks, seems kinda of silly to worry about Coffee. Worse yet energy shots, if you live in the city you can get shots with as much as 800 mg of caffeine.
“Just because a child is old enough to ask if his military dad might die in Afghanistan doesn’t mean he should carry the burden of worry every day that his father could be killed.”
How you get from that high minded concern to “eating your boogers will give you nose cancer” escapes me.
some people already have black toes, and if you play with it it doesn’t fall of it gets bigger.
I truly loved this article! But beware… my daughters are all grown up now but they still have a bit of trouble in judging time spans. Whenever they asked “are we nearly there?” on a long car journey my answer would always be “20 minutes”. It they hear the words “20 minutes” now you can see their shoulders drop… they still think of it as being a long long time! Some wounds dont heal!
I love all of the responses that say lying is wrong. When you lie to children, you are teaching through your actions that lying is OK. It must be OK, ’cause Mom and Dad do it. It makes it awfully hard to tell kids not to lie, what hypocrites they end up thinking their parents are.
No, Ms. Robinson, er, those pants do not make you look fat.
Sure, never lie to the kids, Uh huh.
What are you going to do when when your wife asks you “does this make my butt look big” in front of you and your 8 year old son. I tell you what you do, you lie your ass off and then after mom has departed the room you look at him and say “it’s not a lie, it a life preservation technique”
I was eight, I was staying with my grandparents while my mom and dad went off for a short trip together. We were getting ready for church and both granddad and I were in our Sunday best, waiting for grandma. Grandad looked up as grandma came out and asked, “I don’t know about this dress, it makes me look all “hippy” and I feel like I’m fat. What do you think?”
My grandad, not skipping a beat and having had the benefit of 40 years of wedded bliss said, “If I knew we were gonna fight all day, I wouldn’t have gone out and started the car.”
I still say it was Eve that started all the trouble.
The business of childhood is learning about the world. It’s a job that can never be completed. The goal of parenthood is telling a child what the world is about. When parents lie to their children, they undo their obligations.
http://www.jochnowitz.net/Essays/NoVirgina.html
When I was a kid, we had a crazy lady in our neighborhood very much like Rhonda Robinson. She would lie to her children about all sorts of things. Naturally, her kids would repeat the lies to the rest of us kids as if they were true. “Your toes will turn black if you drink coffee”, etc. The rest of the kids at the bus stop would laugh at this foolishness and tease and mock the poor lied to kids.
Step two was telling our parents about the crazy things that Mrs. Robinson was saying.
Me: Dad, Mrs. Robinson says your toes will turn black if you drink coffee. Is that true?
Dad: No, Pam,it’s not.
Me: Why would she say something like that then?
Dad: Well, she’s just odd. Don’t believe what she says. Just stay away from her.
Mrs. Robinson put her kids into a bad situation and the adults became very wary of her, as well.
I am going to assume that most of the above responders have either never had children, or have forgotten what it is like to have kids. None of the so called “lies” are lies, nor will they undermine the trust between parent and child.
I agree with you. Reading the negative posts on this article has me in agreement with your thinking. This had me laughing at the tongue in cheek humor.
“assume that most of the above responders have either never had children, or have forgotten what it is like to have kids”
Let’s hope they have not reproduced. They would raise their children without imagination or fantasy. Sad. Their poor kids would be dreary little liberal drones, just like them. How insipid.
I just do not understand the supposed connection between lying to people (How does the age of the listener affect the validity or accuracy of a statement?) and their developing an imagination. Kids are far more imaginative than most adults in the first place (A rather curious affect of education, and not really so bad), and its has virtually nothing to do with their parents feeding them lies or fantasy.
Are you honestly going to tell me that you think Shakespeare’s (Or better, Lewis Carroll’s) parents lied to him until he started writing plays, or that parents who in fact fail to lie raise dullards who can’t think their way out of a wet paper bag?
I have not had my own children, but I have nannied and spent a good deal of time around the little ones, and many not so little ones. Honestly, to me lying, to anyone, comes from a truly misplaced fear. Or is it really true that the truth is dangerous and to be avoided… Feel free to lie about that.
“nor will they undermine the trust between parent and child.” in direct contradiction of you poor saps who have pointed out this very result.
Sorry to burst the perfect mommy bubble toots, but yeah, it does. NO parent has any moral warrant for lying to his or her children. The fact that you had to use quotes around lie indicates you realize your own hypocrisy; a lie is a lie is a lie. There are no such things as “lie, lies”.
My 21 year old son has thanked me for never lying to him…even little, “for your own good” lies do erode trust, when kids grow up enough to discover them.
One thing I learned from my kids’ nursery school teachers was how to “slide” difficult questions, direct confrontations between what a kid wants and what he/she can have, but that requires paying attention to kids more than lots of people want to do. It’s called “parenting” and it is not a part-time, whatever is easiest, when you can get to it, endeavor.
When the tooth fairy is debunked, the quarters stop; a child who wants to imitate grownups in giving presents, soon understands where their own presents come from. Make believe is something kids understand very well–I was appalled by a British study that claimed even 3-year-olds lie, giving as evidence that the kids were asked to “pretend” about something as a “game” and then did. A game is not a lie (though using “game theory” to describe real world situations is).
The idea that “everyone lies” is now in the air the kids breathe, and to have an example of truth-telling is important. Who can you trust when you can’t trust the person who feeds, clothes and houses you when you can’t do it yourself? But if you can believe what your parents tell you, you have a firm ground to start from. Even if they’re wrong, in your view, you have their effort and intention as an anchor.
I did not raise any children (not my choice, God’s,) but I was a child once. I mostly didn’t trust my parents because I knew they had been lying to me.
I think that my children would also have picked up on lies if I told them.
I think most kids can tell when they are being lied to.
Ah, the oldest cop-out of lousy parents everywhere. As if only parents were qualified to recognize the results of bad parenting.
Got news for all this sort of self-righteous parent: I was a KID. I remember what my parents did that worked well, and didn’t — and I saw the same with my brothers, cousins and friends too. It’s decades later, and none of the results surprise me.
So glad most of you obviously never read Swift’s A Modest Proposal. We obviously are missing the “tongue in cheek” flavor of this post. How about we dial the vitriol back just a bit and try not to take everything literally (after all we’ve seen what happens to people who do that kind of thing often-they turn into left wing zealots with delusions of relevancy). Repeat after me, Breathe breathe, breathe, breathe.
“Literalists” is a term far more often connected to conservatives (as in Bible literalists) than Leftists, so that analogy doesn’t really work.
And beating feet under cover of “tongue in cheek” does your position no good either.
I vote a big, firm, negatory to the entire line of thinking. My and I are debating the Santa Claus issue right now. I have no desire to feed my daughter this lie, but she insists, more because of everyone else in the family, and because Christmas morning is often held at the in-laws. I’m not trying to be a kill joy, I just think there is no reason for all this crap. “Is there a tooth fairy?” “No, your child teeth fall out and are replaced by your adult teeth. Here’s a dollar for enduring it.” Isn’t that a lot easier than playing some kind of game that will inevitably be discovered as false?
It is amusing to watch some parents extol the obfuscation of truth, raising up to a pedestal a filthy attitude in the name of “good parenting”, when it is very clear that these parents just lack the knowledge and intellectual rigor to explain the world to their children properly and are merely trying to justify their parental incompetence by placing the charge of ignorance on their children. I bet that the parents who think lying about the simplest facts of life are permissible have children that gobble up those mythologies in utter seriousness – stupidity is inherited after all. And so, neither party notices anything amiss. I also would like to add that children who are satisfied by such explanations as the “tooth-fairy” will not contribute anything to mankind’s distinction. This article is a disgrace.
“No you can’t have coffee, because you won’t be able to sleep at night.”
Funny you should mention that.
Just yesterday we told my nephew (who we’re raising…all of our kids are grown) that he’s not allowed to play video games at night, because he’s having trouble sleeping, afetr spending hours blowing stuff up right before bedtime.
He didn’t like the idea, but that’s just too bad.
Gotta get used to doing things you don’t want to do, and there’s no time like the present to learn that you’re not always going to get your way.
What’s the problem with telling the truth?
An interesting article.
I agree with the premis that there are times it’s alright to lie to a child, sometimes. However, it isn’t always necessary to tell the lies mentioned.
When my daughter was very young she wanted to try my coffee. I let her have a sip and she hated it and didn’t drink coffee again until she was at college. (just a hint, if you drink your coffee without sugar, a small child will likely hate it. That goes double for black coffee).
We never had trouble with tofu. She loved it. Fish? Yummy. In fact, we had to tell her “it’s chicken” only when the chicken was hard to see in a dish, but we were telling the truth.
If you think I am some paragon of virtue you should know that I told my pretty daughter that kissing a boy before she was 16 would probably give her zits. I really shouldn’t comment on the types of lies other parents tell.
Children understand fantasy. Some of my most fun memories involve my parents allowing us to believe in the fantastic. It didn’t undermine any trust and I learned to know not only when they were pulling my leg but when others were too. Children need to learn to smell the b.s. even when it comes from seemingly reputable sources. What I did learn was that my parents had a twinkle in their eyes and loved to have fun.
I don’t remember them ever trying to frighten me, but my Dad could spin a yarn. To this day, I’m never quite sure if he really did step on a crocodile or evade a caped childnapper. I don’t really care. What I have is a wonderful memory of my father telling tall tales.
Parent of two speaking up here…and agreeing wholeheartedly with the author on this one. Some things a child simply doesn’t have the intellectual capacity to understand and they need a small bridge to help them cope and function in society until they ARE old enough to comprehend the truth.
One of the greatest joys of being a parent are the small everyday surprises a child brings up that are complete manifestations of their imagination. I swear they can come up with stuff that leaves your ribs cracking!
Imagination is a powerful force in their world, and to ignore it – or worse, seek to deny it with dry facts and rationalizations – does no great service to the child either.
That ability to fantacize and imagine undreamt of things is part of what makes childhood so special.
I say let the little darlings enjoy their innocence and cultivate their ability to imagine and dream big, as it will serve them well later in life.
And in the meantime, you get the added advantage of not watching them eat their own boogers.
Children are born with the ability to fantasize, telling them the truth in no way interferes with this ability. Most of the time it enhances it, because they have a solid platform of reality to get back to after they’ve finished their flight of fantasy.
Lying makes it so that children don’t know what is real, and become less able to tell reality from the fantasy, which isn’t very good for them.
Nope. Sorry kid, I’d love to help you out, but it will turn your toes black.
And what do you tell if the kid is, err, Black?
Lying to children is simply evil. Selfish evil, at that. Some people do it because it is easier (now, for Mom) than telling the truth, NOT because it is actually better.
Lies My Mother told Me
1. If I picked my nose, they would lock me up and handcuff my hands outside the jail bars.
2. Only bad kids are afraid of the dark.
3. Coffee would make my chest hairy… ewwww.
4. She and Dad bought us kids at the baby store.
5. The real Santa Claus was at Macy’s. All those other Santas I saw were his helpers.
6. There is a monster in the back bedroom closet. The “booge.” Don’t go in the back bedroom closet.
7. Don’t go with strangers, they will chop you up and throw the pieces in the river (OK, this one was only a possibly slight exageration).
8. “Your face will freeze that way.”
9. If you say bad words the dragon flies will sew your lips closed (the dragon flies were called “devil’s needles” where she came from.
10. Yes if you lie your nose really will grow.
Times change. Kids hear so much more than they should from the media. My son, when he was 5, asked what child molesters do to kids. Yeah he’d had the “good touch, bad touch” lecture before the pediatrician visit…. I told him that there are bad people out there who woiud take him, tie him to a chair, and make him eat rotten clams. He’s 11 now and has a better understanding, but still doesn’t need all the facts.
Why wouldn’t you want to inform your child?
When I was 11, I got into a car with a child molester, because what I had been told was, “Don’t get into cars with strangers.” However, I was also told, “Be polite to adults, and do what they tell you to do.” Nice conflict of interest there. I’m too old to have gotten the ‘good touch, bad touch’ talk at any time. When I was growing up, people wouldn’t even go that far to inform a child. What a shock it was to me!
Children need to know. You don’t have to give them gory details, but telling them that there are bad people out there, and to be wary, would go a long way.
Information is like food; it does you no good if you can’t digest it.
“Digestion”, in the context of raw information, is called “thinking”. So of course, if a child doesn’t have good “digestion”, of course he’s going to have a lot of mental “upset stomachs” from exposure to reality. It’s so much easier to just give him some pablum instead of dealing with his poor “digestion”.
I think you’ve explained the appeal of this “lying to kids” thing, Harry.
You are a genius.
What a dumb article.