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Sluts on Parade: SlutWalk SF 2012

Various socialist and communist groups trolled the rally, handing out flyers to everyone.

I took one of these flyers and later scanned it for your amusement: It tells the hilarious tale of in-fighting within the Freedom Socialist Party and the Peace and Freedom Party, and the outrage that erupted when celebrity usurper Roseanne Barr swooped in and stole the presidential nomination from a true radical. VP candidate Cindy Sheehan even comes in for some deserved vitriol, for double-dealing and making contradictory statements.

The extreme left always commits political suicide in a flurry of self-criticism and internecine battles. But at least they provide amusement for the rest of us.

Speaking of the extreme left: Here's a video taken by a fellow SlutWalker of one of the rally's main speakers, a woman named Natalie Hrizi representing a new feminist group called WORD — Women Organized to Resist and Defend. Something about her near-hysterical levels of outrage made me suspicious.

That suspicion was amplified when professional-seeming WORD protesters fanned out in the crowd with their professionally printed signs. Something about the design of those signs set off alarm bells. What was it, what was it...I know! The graphic style of having all-caps text above and a black box below containing the group's identifying info looks exactly like the signs made by the ANSWER Coalition, a communist group that organized many of the anti-war protests in the Bush era. [WORD even uses the exact same color for its signs as ANSWER uses for some of theirs.]

Since ANSWER has a long history of setting up front groups to co-opt various subsets of the left, luring in prospective new members without at first letting them know they're joining a communist organization, I suspected that perhaps ANSWER was moving in on SlutWalk as well with their latest incarnation, "WORD." Sure enough, a quick check of the WORD web site reveals a big Thank You to ANSWER for help setting up the group. One of the WORD phone numbers is actually the same number that another ANSWER-related socialist party formerly used for a different (now defunct) front group back in 2009. I guess it's more efficient to just recycle phone numbers than having to get new lines for each passing front group.

As always, ANSWER has big, big plans for its latest front group, positioning themselves at the vanguard of whatever social movement is au courant. Despite this boundless optimism, their plans repeatedly fail, over and over. The sign of a True Believer is to never ever give up, change beliefs or get disheartened in the face of constant failure.

Oh, politics politics politics. Enough already! Let's look at pictures!

Local sexpert and activist Carol Queen gave a sort of droning academic-tinged speech, while wearing an "I Love Female Orgasms" shirt and some unfortunately ill-fitting granny pants.

Nearby, a slut showed off her Dome of the Rock Palestinian kaffiyeh. Because everyone knows how sluts are welcomed in Muslim culture!

"Greater" in the sense of "larger," or "more significant than"?

Miss "My Very Existence Affirms the Inevitability of Looksist Appearance Hierarchy" announced to all and sundry, "My short skirt, believe it or not, has nothing to do with you." OK. But then why are you wearing a short skirt (and lipstick and the rest)? So that people don't turn their heads and look at you? In order to make yourself look unappealing? Then who or what does your short skirt have to do with?

Once again, the simplest SlutWalk sign raises the deepest questions. In this case, all that is missing to make everything clear is an emphasis on the final word in her message: "My short skirt, believe it or not, has nothing to do with you." In other words, she's dressing up to attract only those people who are in her league, but not you, you disgusting troll.

This actually was my favorite sign of the day: "Modest clothes? Still rape." True, so true. In reality, no one in Western society condones rape — the entire SlutWalk concept is a straw man fallacy. They're arguing against a position that no one professes. And this sign, in an un-self-aware way, subtly undermines the whole thesis of the rally. This particular protester wasn't really on board with the whole "dress provocatively" thing, so fashioned a message from her point of view: Doesn't matter what kind of clothes the victim is wearing, including modest clothes: rape is still rape. But that just exposes the tautology of the overall SlutWalk message, which is reduced to: Rape is bad. Period. But that isn't controversial, so the message has to be dolled up in radical festoons to make it seem exciting.