We've Tracked Down the Rules for the Democratic Socialists of America Convention and They're AMAZING

What happens when you fill a conference hall with dedicated young socialists and try to get anything done?

Well, you don't get much done, it seems.

The party's annual conference just wrapped up in Atlanta on Sunday, and some of the livestream video has been made available for your mocking laughter by Young Americans Against Socialism.

Here's the transcript:

Delegate: Point of personal privilege? Guys, uh, first of all, James Jackson, Sacramento DSA, He/Him. I just want to say can we please keep the chatter to a minimum? I'm one of the people who's very, very prone to sensory overload. There's a lot of whispering and chattering going on, and it's making it very difficult for me to focus. Please, can we just... I know it's... we're all fresh and ready to go, but can we please just keep the chatter to a minimum? It's affecting my ability to focus. Thank you.

Chair: Thank you, comrade. OK, is there a speaker against name [chapter?] pronouns?

Other Delegate: Point of personal privilege! Point of personal privilege!

Chair: Yes?

Other Delegate: PLEASE DO NOT USE GENDERED LANGUAGE TO ADDRESS EVERYONE.

So... no Spanish or German?

And as one Twitter user responded, "How do they all not bust up laughing when people call out 'Point of privilege!'?"

Check your privilege, comrade!

In this next clip, I think we're hearing again from the young gentleman who wanted everyone to keep the chatter to a minimum, but clearly he's unbothered by the sound of his own voice.

Transcript:

Delegate: Quick point of privilege once again. Quick point of privilege once again. James Jackson, Sacramento DSA, He/Him. [Growing more irritated as he speaks] I have already asked people to be mindful of the chatter of their comrades who are sensitive to sensory overload, and that goes double for the heckling and the hissing. It is also triggering to my anxiety... like... so being comradely doesn't just... isn't just for, like, you know, "let's keep things civil" or whatever. It's so that people aren't gonna get triggered, and so it doesn't affect their performance as a delegate, OK? Your need to express yourself is important, but your need to express yourself should not trump [Triggered!] or over, like...

Either Mr. Jackson went on in the same vein for the rest of the conference, or they cut his mic. From this clip you can't tell which, but in my mind he's still in there, still gripping his microphone, and still making irritated demands to that long-empty room.

Whatever the DSA's flag is, they need to change it to a weasel on a field of yellow with the caption, "Don't tread on my made-up neuroses."

Moving along, what would a convention of nannystaters be without rules, and lots of them?

Well, it wouldn't be like this:

No transcript this time, because you really do need to hear the whole thing to fully appreciate the madness. But do mind the uncredentialed rightwing police MAGA infiltrators using the fun exits without being chill.

Mostly what I got out of these clips was three white, male socialists trying to tell everyone else exactly how to behave. Typical.

On the off chance you were worried that the Democratic Socialists of America aren't seriously committed socialists, just check out this chart of their projected expenses and income I lifted from the party's own convention page.

If I've done my math correctly, the DSA expected to bring in $381,000 while spending $846,376 -- a shortfall of $465,376, or much more than half.

So, yes, these are dyed-in-the-wool socialists we're seeing here, relying on Other People's Money to make their dreams work. Say, where did the other half-mil come from, anyway?

Difficult questions aside, the DSA might be committed to other trendy causes, like antisemitism and sharia law. That is, if Linda Sarsour's much-hyped appearance is anything to go by.

And we'll close out with this popular musical number, which was once happily sung by the volunteer workers in Stalin's slave labor death love camps.

As you can see by the video, I'm not making any of this up. The good news is, they'll be too busy arguing about genderless language, make-believe personal pronouns, and the importance of keeping the chatter to a minimum to actually wage a revolution.

Exit clip: Every Monty Python sketch eventually becomes real.