Never Too Woke: Chris Pratt Forced to Apologize for Water Bottle
Chris Pratt first gained fame as the kinda pudgy Andy Dwyer on NBC's beloved Parks and Recreation. But when it came time to star as Peter Quill/Star-Lord in Marvel's big-budget Guardians of the Galaxy sci-fi/action/comedy flick, the former dad-bod model shed 60 pounds of fat and added an impressive amount of muscle for the role. Pratt's efforts turned him into something of a workout role model, up to and including an appearance on the cover of Men's Fitness magazine. His Instagram feed is famous -- at least with my wife -- for the many fitness shots of his much-improved bod.
I'd do that, too, but first I have to get on Instagram. And in shape.
But a killer set of abs is no protection from Woke Culture, as Pratt learned yesterday when fellow Hollywood ab-tor Jason Momoa called him out for...
...wait for it...
...holding a single-use water bottle in his most recent Instagram pic.
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You’re probably wondering why I’m standing here, low key flexing, gazing into the distance... well, turns out I'm teaming up with @amazon to show you guys everything I use for my workouts, keeping active, and all that fun stuff to get you prepped for 2020. #FoundItOnAmazon #Amazon #Ad http://www.amazon.com/chrispratt
Clearly, we as a nation have run out of real issues to worry about. But not Momoa, who commented on Pratt's pic with: "Bro i love you but wtf on the water bottle. no single use plastic. come on."
If that comment is anything to go by, Momoa should stick with his day job of saying other people's words.
Pratt quickly apologized, writing back, "Aquaman! You’re completely right. Dammit. I always carry my big gallon size reusable water jug with me too. I even had it that day!!!"
(Would somebody please tell Chris that Aquaman isn't real?)
He continued his Woke-mandated apology, adding, "My bad. I don't want your home of Atlantis covered in plastic. Hear that kids? Reduce. Reuse. Recycle."
(Would somebody please tell Chris that Atlantis isn't real, either?)
Momoa replied in his erudite way, "I’m just very passionate about this single use plastic epidemic. the plastic water bottles have to stop i hope u make a reusable water bottle for amazon so we all can purchase."
I'm all for clean oceans, but the United States doesn't even make the top 20 nations in the world for dumping plastics into the water. This, despite us accounting for more than a fifth of all economic activity around the world. If Momoa really wants to clean up the oceans, maybe he should take his woke act to China, which is the worst offender. But doing so would require a big-budget action star to take a stand against Hollywood's favorite market for kowtowing -- and we all know that's not going to happen.
Mostly though, I just wish Pratt hadn't sullied his Star-Lord image with a lame apology over what in this country is basically a non-issue. Because as Star-Lord could tell you, there's only one correct way to respond to demands from Woke Culture: