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It's Florida Man Friday

It's another thrilling week of adventure and mayhem with America's favorite couple: Florida Man and Florida Woman.

Most Florida Man Story Ever (This Week)

Don't you just love a happy ending?

Innovator of the Week (Early 20th Century Edition)

Did you know that Florida Woman invented the selfie over 100 years ago? Well, it's true -- or at least might be.

Truth in Advertising

"Honestly, officer, I just wanted to buy an icy cold Coke Zero. Caveat emptor and all, but are the handcuffs really necessary?"

She Likes It Rough; Him, Not So Much

(Indian Harbour Beach Police Department)

Florida woman squeezed boyfriend’s genitals ‘until they bled.’

I had to get up out of my chair and pace around slowly for a couple minutes after reading this. If you need more details, you can click on the link, but you'd probably rather not. Lesson learned: Hell hath no fury like Florida Woman scorned.

You've Got to Fight for Your Right to Shower

Far be it from me to condone violence, but I'm taking Florida Man's side on this one.

Florida Man: Freelance Crime Fighter

Pew, pew?

Busted

Possession is nine-tenths of the law, pal. On the other hand, if stuff you find around your nose counts as possession, maybe we're all Florida Man.

Indeed We Are

And that's all for this week's exciting edition of... Florida Man! Come back this time next week for more thrills, spills, and criminal hijinks.