Come Together: A Plea to Annoy Christians and Witches Alike!

So when I saw that old Bill Maher video of Christine O'Donnell talking about her dabbling days with "witchcraft" and blood and Satanism, well… I knew that in that video she was one of two things: Either she was full of it, or that she hadn't been dealing with actual Wiccans. But whatever -- no harm, no foul. If I were being held to account for all the claims I made when I was twenty, well, I'd blush bright red and leave the public scene forever.*

As an agnostic, I'm not taking any sides -- or choosing any gods -- in this debate. To each their own, "and harm ye none," as any good Wiccan would tell you.

All of which is just a long way of saying: Relax.

If what O'Donnell said 11 years ago is true, then she wasn't dealing with Wiccans, but with actual Satanists. And she has -- inadvertently and through the "good" graces of Bill Maher -- given Wiccans a platform to explain what they're really all about. I would encourage them to do so.

And if O'Donnell is being disingenuous, then Wiccans have an even bigger case to make, and one heck of a juicy target to take down in the process.

What we all should care about is precisely this: Is any given candidate a person of conviction, and is that conviction to cut Washington down to size? All else is superfluous. A candidate could believe in Caspar the Friendly Ghost, ancient astronauts, or that Mars Needs Women, for all I care -- so long as they hold true to that core conviction that Washington must be cut down to size.

To my good Christian friends, I say: Forgive. Although I suspect that instruction is completely unnecessary. You folks take a lot of flak in the media, but on your core conviction, you almost always walk the walk. And God bless you for it.

To my good Wiccan friends, I say: Embrace. Embrace small government, because big government is a friend to minorities only so long as it's convenient -- witness how the Democrats ignore urban blacks' pleas for school vouchers. But a small government is impotent to threaten your ways. Blessed be.

I hold no faith in magic. But the Wiccan Law of Return says, "All good that a person does to another returns threefold in this life; harm is also returned threefold." That's not a bad sentiment, and one Christians might recognize, in slightly different form, from Matthew 7:12 and Luke 6:31.

There's some common ground here, where both sides could -- and should -- meet politically, if not spiritually. For that to happen, however, certain Christians (not nearly all of them) would have to drop their insistence that Wicca is equal to Satanism. And certain Wiccans (not nearly all of them, either) would have to abandon their childish liberalism.

In doing so, Christians and Wiccans both could come out ahead -- and that kind of win-win deal is as American as mom, apple pie, and religious freedom.

*I would not really go into hiding. I have a highly underdeveloped sense of shame.