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Foot Meets Mouth Meets Nukes

You Big Giant Dummy HeadI'm no professional pundit, although strangely enough I do seem to get paid for just that. Rather, my business is snark. And I like to think I'm pretty good at it. But I do understand, or at least try to understand, that there's a time and a place for everything.

I try not to make jokes about using hammers on kittens where my son might hear me.

I never purposely point out to my wife when I've posted something featuring Elle MacPherson letting it half hang out.

And I certainly wouldn't, while staying in Russia, refer to that nuclear-armed former adversary as "a weakened nation."

Just, you know, because sometimes I try to be smart like that, Mr. Vice Effing President.