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Creepy LA Metro Safety PSAs Might Make You Just Stay Home

“Mindful or mangled? Safety begins with you.”

The titles alone on the new LA Metro light rail safety PSAs seem as if they were written by a creative staff that just doesn’t get out much. Now that there is finally a train going to the beach, the push is on for greater public awareness of proper train safety etiquette as we Angelenos are car people and unused to the way of functioning mass transit. There are six of these gems, and whether they’ll prevent any mangling remains to be seen. They are, however, goofy fun, in a dark, cartoonish way.

Next Page: Your biggest crush.

Admit it, the more you watch this one, the more you root for the train.

Next Page: Skate H8

You kids should always listen to an adult wearing one of those yellow sash thingies.

Next Page: In the moment, or in the morgue.

Very polite of the person of indeterminate gender to step over the severed arm to get on the train.

Next Page: Worst. Pancake. Ever.

Dead skater. Dead surfer. I’m sensing some animosity from the basement creative team at LA Metro here.

Next Page: Heady stuff.

Obvious lesson here is that you should get out and learn to run faster.