President Obama's New American Vocabulary
“Make No Mistake About It”: Something neither "perfectly clear" nor "in point of fact."
Media: The Ministry of Truth.
Money: You have made enough of it already.
Muslim Brotherhood: Secular, at least largely.
Muslims: Those who also worship Jesus but without the bothersome bible thumping.
NSA: Add another A and it would be an Islamic outreach agency.
Nuclear Option: To be outlawed, except in the Senate.
ObamaCare: Sort of read, sort of passed, sort of enacted, sort of ended.
One-percenter: Obama fundraisers.
Police: Act stupidly.
Profile: Typical white person.
Profit: Not the time to.
Race: Cowards never talk about it.
Recess Appointments: Hardly “damaged goods.”
Renditions: Valuable anti-terrorism protocols once George Bush left office.
Reset: Turning neutrals into enemies.
Revolving Door: Abuses ended by those like Peter Orszag.
Sequesters: Forced on fiscally sober presidents by uncaring, callous opponents.
Spiking the Ball: You avoid that by mentioning a dead Osama bin Laden ad nauseam.
Spread the Wealth: Tuition at Sidwell Friends.
Spying: OK on friends, suspicious when on others.
Taxes: Never were raised on those who pay more of them.
Tea Party: Presidentially referenced sex act.
Terrorism: Endemic among returning Iraqi veterans and Christian fundamentalists.
Transparent: Say it enough and it happens.
Typical White Person: Jorge Meza Zimmerman.
Undocumented Workers: Never had documents and not all have worked.
Unemployment Rate: It depends on why you want to know.
White Hispanic: Not to be confused with white African-American.
Wind and Solar: Like farm subsidies without the farm.
Workplace Violence: Murdering 13 soldiers while yelling “Allahu Akbar.”
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