Who Knew? Dodgeball a 'Tool of Oppression,' Researchers Say

There is a new evil stalking the land, cleverly disguising itself as a simple child's game. Children and parents, unaware of the mortal danger to their woke souls, innocently engage in the game, playing as if nothing were amiss.

But the greatest trick the devil ever played on an unsuspecting humanity was to convince the world he didn't exist. So it is with dodgeball and the hidden oppression inherent in those who play it.

Dodgeball? Oppression? Fer sure. Three Canadian "researchers" can prove it.

New York Post:

“The message is that it’s okay to hurt or dehumanize the ‘other,’ ” researcher Joy Butler, a professor who studies pedagogy and curriculum development at the University of British Columbia, recently  told the Washington Post.

The team’s findings, set to be presented at the Congress of the Humanities and Social Sciences this week in Vancouver, argue that the playground favorite actually “reinforces the five faces of oppression” — which have been classified as exploitation, marginalization, powerlessness, cultural imperialism and violence by political theorist Iris Marion Young.

The culpability of a dozen generations of phys ed teachers, school administrators, parents, and children in perpetrating this oppression should not be dismissed. I believe that reparations are in order, to be awarded for all the slow, fat kids like me who were "oppressed" playing this evil game as children.  It was 50 years ago, but you can't put a time limit on justice, right?

I'll take mine in small bills, please.

In truth, the researchers probably didn't have Alix Piorun in mind when they wrote their paper. He's been playing in adult dodgeball leagues for ten years and wonders what all the fuss is about.

The soft-spoken 33-year-old nuclear medicine technologist has been playing dodgeball in recreational leagues for the past ten years, and even served as a referee for the  Dodgeball World Cup this past July.

“I’ve always been a good athlete, so I guess you could say I’ve been on the oppressor side,” Piorun, who has placed in national competitions for her dodging, catching and throwing skills, tells The Post.

Piorun contends that the team sport actually gives kids who might not be fast and strong a chance to shine. “Kids who aren’t always the best athletes are sometimes the best catchers…there’s always going to be people bigger and stronger than you, but you have to figure out a way to outsmart them — whether it’s dodging or catching.”

And with 55 member nations in the World Dodgeball Federation (or what the researchers might call the Axis of Recess), it’s safe to say that not all ballers are bullies. The key, says Piorun, “is throwing to your opponent’s ability. If you’re trying to hit someone who’s really good, you can throw harder. If someone’s not as great, maybe slow it down.”

What the researchers and their like-minded "social scientists" are really complaining about is that, in the game of dodgeball, one team wins and one team loses. The essence of competition is the lesson it teaches about life; some people are winners and some are losers and nothing anyone says about "oppression" will change that unalterable fact. Parents who teach this lesson or allow their children to experience winning and losing first-hand will watch their kids grow up into mature, responsible adults.

Those who don't, who try to shield their kids from life lessons like this, will see their kids grow up to be whiny, fearful snowflakes who will be ignorant about what it takes to be independent adults.