When It Comes to Canceling Netflix Shows, I'm Pro-Choice

It's time you and I had a little talk, Dear Reader. You've been going through some changes, and you're noticing things you never noticed before. Now, I know you're curious about all this, and you have a lot of questions, and that's completely normal. It's kinda scary, but it's nothing to be ashamed of. So here goes. Ahem. See, here's what happens... Um... How do I put this? Okay, look, it's like this: When a streaming video service and a professional comedian love each other very much, they get together and make something called a show.

It's a joyous occasion! Everybody's happy and excited. Well, sometimes. Not always. Sometimes, maybe it's more nuanced than that. Maybe the network just wanted to have a little fun, which it absolutely had the right to do, but now it's time to move on. Maybe the network has a lot of other things it wants to accomplish without worrying about taking care of an unwanted late-night comedy show. So the network performs a procedure called a cancelation. It's sad, but sometimes networks have to focus on their own needs.

Their business model, their choice.

That makes sense, right? This is 2018. But unfortunately, some people aren't enlightened enough to understand it. Some people are still living in the Dark Ages. They think that if they enjoy a show where a comedian sits behind a desk and tells jokes about Republicans, somehow that obliges the network to be held down and forced to bring that show to term.

You'll hear a lot of the same tired rhetoric from anti-choicers: "Cancelation stops the beating heart of a program! It's not a choice, it's a show!" They try to act all self-righteous, but they don't really care about the welfare of a show. They don't do anything to help any fully grown shows, do they? No, they just hate networks. They don't want networks to have control over their own destinies.

All of which brings us to a show called The Break with Michelle Wolf, which was just canceled by Netflix after less than a trimester. Apparently, the writers and producers of the show found out about the cancelation on Twitter. And they're actually complaining about it, as if they have any say in the matter! According to Michelle Wolf herself a source connected to the show: "None of us can believe how classlessly Netflix has handled this."

This is just more anti-choice rhetoric. Any network that asserts its own autonomy is slurred as "classless." Networks should just shut up and let comedians do whatever they want, right? Sure, you have your way with a network, and then you leave the network to deal with the consequences. Way to go, guys. #smdh

And honestly, calling The Break a "show" isn't scientifically accurate. It hadn't even developed to that level yet. It was just an undifferentiated clump of jokes:

See? Clipping your toenails or cutting your hair isn't evil, and neither is getting rid of this unwanted residue.

Sure, maybe if The Break had been given a chance, it would've matured and become something worthwhile. Maybe it would've reached its potential and grown into the next Stranger Things. But it also might have become another Iron Fist or slapped-together Cloverfield sequel. If you're an anti-choicer, it's okay to be sad that we'll never know one way or the other, but you don't have the right to tell Netflix what to do with their own servers. It's none of your business. Literally.

Netflix and Michelle Wolf had some good times together. They're consenting contractual entities. But that doesn't mean one of them should be punished with an unwanted show.

When it comes to cancelling shows, I'm staunchly pro-choice. A network has the power to give life to a show, and fans will try to control that. Don't let them.

God bless cancelations, and God bless America!