The Two Latest Sexual Assault Claims Against Brett Kavanaugh Disprove Themselves

President Donald Trump's Supreme Court nominee, Brett Kavanaugh testifies before the Senate Judiciary Committee on Capitol Hill in Washington.

Another day, another accusation against Supreme Court nominee Brett Kavanaugh. Or rather, another two accusations. Tomorrow, it will be three accusations. Kavanaugh must be a horrible rapist! Or the liberals must be so desperate, they're relying on hearsay of hearsay.

Honestly, when I read about the latest two accusations, which broke on Wednesday night, I burst out laughing. Kavanaugh's denial started to sound like "Green Eggs and Ham."

"I did not assault her on a boat. I did not assault her with a goat. I did not assault her here or there. I did not assault her anywhere."

Of course, the biggest problem with this little rhyme is the "her." Neither of the latest two allegations specified what the alleged victim even looked like, much less who she actually is.

On Wednesday, CNN reported on the transcript of a conference call on Tuesday in which the nominee denied both allegations. These came after a couple of tense weeks.

First, Christine Blasey Ford accused Kavanaugh of attempted rape in high school, in what seems to be the least ridiculous accusation — although none of her named witnesses confirmed the story. Then, Deborah Ramirez accused Kavanaugh of thrusting his penis in her face in college, also denied and unconfirmed. Then, Michael Avenatti's client, Julie Swetnick, said Kavanaugh and his friend Mark Judge ran at least ten "gang rape" parties while in high school — which she attended, despite her being in college at the time.

Swetnick's tale fails the smell test. If Kavanaugh had "gang raped" this many women, Swetnick would not have attended after the first party. While it is callous to say all women would report sexual assault, it certainly stands to reason that someone would have reported gang rapes. To top it off, 60 men and women who attended Georgetown Prep or other schools and knew Kavanaugh at the time sent a letter to directly refute these absurd claims. Finally, PJ Media's Matt Margolis published an exclusive interview with a woman who went to parties with Georgetown Prep classmates but never met Swetnick.

All this was just a warm-up. The two latest accusers are not only anonymous — they don't even know the alleged victims of this "serial rapist" Brett Kavanaugh.

The fourth accusation came in the form of a letter sent to Sen. Cory Gardner (R-Colo.). The anonymous author claimed Kavanaugh assaulted a woman he was dating in 1998 while working for independent counsel Ken Starr.

CNN reported, "The complainant said the writer's daughter and several friends were with Kavanaugh in 1998 when Kavanaugh assaulted a woman he was dating, who was a friend of the person's daughter."

"Her friend was dating him, and they left the bar under the influence of alcohol. They were all shocked when Brett Kavanaugh shoved her friend up against the wall very aggressively and sexually," an investigator read from the letter.

The letter's author — whose sex was not revealed — said his or her daughter was approached by the allegedly sexually assaulted friend on September 21 of this year. Both decided to send the complaint anonymously.

Kavanaugh denied that he had shoved a woman against a wall, behaved violently toward some vague undefined woman, or socialized with someone from Boulder, Colo.

His responses to questioning were gold:

When asked if, during the Starr investigation, he dated a woman who "would fairly fit the description in the letter," Kavanaugh asked, "What's the description?"

"Just based on what I --," the transcript showed the investigator responding.

"Describe her appearance," Kavanaugh said.

"No it's -- all we have is what I read," the investigator said.

"Well, then I don't know what I'm responding to then," Kavanaugh replied.

"We're dealing with an anonymous letter about an anonymous person and an anonymous friend," the nominee said, according to the transcript. "It's ridiculous. Total Twilight Zone. And no, I've never done anything like that."

The fifth accusation is arguably even more ridiculous. A Rhode Island man, whose name was redacted from the transcript, had called Sen. Sheldon Whitehouse (D-R.I.) "concerning a rape on a boat in August of 1985."

"A close acquaintance of the constituent was sexually assaulted by two heavily inebriated men she referred to at the time as Brett and Mark," the transcript read.

Allegedly, Kavanaugh and his friend Mark Judge were on a boat in the Newport harbor. When the man heard of the assault, "he and another individual went to the harbor, located the boat the victim had described, and physically confronted the two men, leaving them with significant injuries."

The caller reportedly reached out to Whitehouse's office on the morning of September 24, after he saw Kavanaugh's high school yearbook photo on television and realized one of those men was Kavanaugh.

The nominee denied the incident occurred, that he had ever been in Newport, or on a boat, or on a boat with Mark Judge.

"No," Kavanaugh said. "I was not in Newport, haven't been on a boat in Newport. Not with Mark Judge on a boat, nor all those three things combined. This is just completely made up, or at least not me. I don't know what they're referring to."

Now, let me be clear. Sexual assault is a real and tragic thing. Accusers deserve to be heard and to have their claims investigated. However, if they knowingly accuse innocent men, they themselves are committing a crime.

There is yet another explanation: memory is not always reliable. Christine Blasey Ford, Deborah Ramirez, and the unnamed people in these other allegations may have experienced assaults and misremembered the perpetrator. At least one plausible alternative theory has emerged regarding Ford's allegation.

Ford and Ramirez have sworn that they rightly identified Kavanaugh as their assaulter, but as the Weekly Standard's Thomas Kirby explained, "a degraded memory may seem vivid and sharp, and witnesses with such memories testify to them with full conviction."

No one should make light of what Christine Blasey Ford and the other accusers may have experienced. But each assault allegation contradicted Kavanaugh's established character, and he has flatly denied each. About 200 women have testified to the nominee's high moral character, including two women who dated him and knew him since high school.

All of this is taking place in the context of Trump confirming a replacement to Anthony Kennedy on the Supreme Court, considered the vital 5th vote to make the Court originalist. Liberals see this as a threat to everything — abortion, same-sex marriage, women's rights, you name it. Protesters are dressing up like handmaids from "The Handmaid's Tale," suggesting that if Kavanaugh is nominated, he will take away women's rights — not just to abortion, but to property and freedom — and institute state-sanctioned rape.

If a liberal woman really believes that everything is at stake, it stands to reason she might risk everything to stop this nominee. That's why I do think it likely we will see more accusers — likely anonymous like the fourth and fifth accusers.

Christine Blasey Ford will testify on Thursday, and her case deserves the most scrutiny. The Senate Judiciary Committee has been investigating, while Democrats turn this into a circus. As for the last two accusations, they deserve about as much credence as "Green Eggs and Ham."

Follow the author of this article on Twitter at @Tyler2ONeil.