The Morning Briefing: Epstein's Death Just Got Weirder Shocked Face Edition
Happy Hump Day, patriots. Bit of a mishmash at the top here today, as every news cycle is now a carnival freak show.
LITERALLY SLEEPING ON THE JOB
The first 24 hours or so after Jeffrey Epstein was discovered to have become a non-problem for a certain wine-swilling failed presidential candidate and her occasional husband were filled with people condemning anyone who floated a conspiracy theory.
The two correctional officers in the special housing unit where Mr. Epstein was held — 9 South — falsely recorded in a log that they had checked on the financier, who was facing sex trafficking charges, every 30 minutes, as was required, the officials said.Such false entries in an official log could constitute a federal crime.
In fact, the guards had been asleep for some or all of the three hours, the officials said.
At this point, one might run the risk of actually spraining something while trying to avoid a conspiracy theory. Another few days of coincidences piling up the way they have been since Saturday and investigators are going to have to wear hazmat suits to wade through the toxic B.S.
Lemony Badness at CNN
Something is in the water over at Trump-hate Central.
Don Lemon is being sued for an unusual assault. Jim Treacher has all of the uncomfortable details here, complete with enough double entendre and innuendo to add spice to your breakfast.
Day Two of Fredogate saw a surprising number of people on the right (including some of my own colleagues) defending Cuomo. The consensus among them was that he shouldn't have been harassed like that while out with his family. The Federalist co-founder Sean Davis added some detail to the larger point I was making in yesterday's Briefing about CNN being highly complicit in making the country as cranking as it is:
That's how the network treats conservatives. That's why my sympathy meter wasn't able to move much for Cuomo on this one.
Well, that, and I also hate feelings.
POTUS didn't disappoint with his thoughts on the subject:
Some of us do.
What many on "our" side tend to forget is that everything the liberals accuse us of now is projection on their parts. They are the ones with the hate, racism, and murder in their hearts. They just have a well-oiled media machine in place that works 24/7 in the modern media era to convince people the opposite is true.
While I don't want to be the guy who turns into them, it's more than understandable that some of us are little cranky after being called racists and murderers all of the time.
Kinda nice to have a president who gets that.
I'll admit, it's exhausting not being a racist, murderous xenophobe all the time, but somebody's gotta do it.
Let's link, shall we?
From the Mothership and Beyond
The Kruiser Kabana
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Let the unbridled wackiness of the late, great Kevin Meaney carry you forward into the day.
Stephen Kruiser is the author of “Don’t Let the Hippies Shower” and “Straight Outta Feelings: Political Zen in the Age of Outrage,” both of which address serious subjects in a humorous way. Monday through Friday he edits PJ Media’s “Morning Briefing.”