The Morning Briefing: Behold the Incredible Triggering Power of the MAGA Hat!
America's New Pastime
The Washington Nationals went to the White House on Monday to celebrate their World Series win with the president of the United States and in a sane world, a champion baseball team and the president hanging out on a sunny day would just make for a nice story.
For the sufferers of Trump Derangement Syndrome, it was a cause of great distress.
This was an event the TDS crowd never wanted to happen, as evidenced by this tweet from noted Low-T poster boy Bill Kristol:
Doctors agree that Kristol's stupidity is incurable.
Obviously, it was bad enough for these poor dears that the event happened at all. The Nationals players who did show up really spoiled things by enjoying themselves. Catcher Kurt Suzuki practically caused an international incident by wearing a Make America Great Again hat, a.k.a. the universal trigger for every American liberal whose daddy never said: "I love you."
(I took a screenshot of the following tweet and response of mine so I could blur out an expletive.)
This frail young lump of liberal dough was just one of many who just could not deal with a red baseball cap.
The Twitter hashtag #KurtSuzuki reveals an array of fragility, mental instability, and fundamental misunderstandings of just what a hat is capable of. If I were a better person I would feel bad for these people.
Instead, I spent a fair amount of time scrolling through and thoroughly enjoying their angst and online histrionics. They are suffering from toxic emotional weakness and it's more entertaining than having cable for me.
To his credit, Suzuki didn't back down and defended his ability to have a good time:
When I was pondering the divide between Right and Left in America last week I didn't go over the thing that may keep us separated forever: American liberals are now incapable of even seeing political slogans they don't like without descending into a Sylvia Plath-ish oven-seeking madness.
Dialogue with people like that might be a little dicy.
I Am Honored to Say That Both of These Women Are My Friends
From the Mothership and Beyond
Funny But Also Probably True
The Kruiser Kabana
Martin Short's "Jiminy Glick" character is a fave of mine and, I think, a bit underrated.
We need to have a "Kruiser's Morning Briefing Cruise."
PJ Media Associate Editor Stephen Kruiser is the author of “Don’t Let the Hippies Shower” and “Straight Outta Feelings: Political Zen in the Age of Outrage,” both of which address serious subjects in a humorous way. Monday through Friday he edits PJ Media’s “Morning Briefing.”