NBA Teams Phasing Out All-Female Dance Squads Thanks to the #MeToo Movement

Around the NBA, teams are beginning to replace all-female dance squads with diverse "hype" teams. Not everyone is happy about the NBA's embrace of diversity though. Some people unhappy about the changes are the female dancers, who blame the NBA's new love of diversity on the #MeToo movement.

So far, over the last year, eight NBA teams have phased out their all-female dance squads and replaced them with co-ed teams. According to TIME:

It's a trend that some dancers say reflects a fraught societal response to the #MeToo movement: If there's any chance you could be accused of sexism, just distance yourself from women. Others wonder if franchises are eliminating all-female squads because of prior pushes for better pay and working conditions. NBA teams insist they are merely diversifying their entertainment squads, but dancers, many of whom have trained and aspired to be on these teams for years, say the decision to replace all-female teams is itself sexist, reducing the number of good career opportunities for women.

That entire paragraph from the TIME article reads like an Onion or Babylon Bee article, pointing out the absurdity that is this day and age. Reread the final sentence, paying close attention to its final clause: "reducing the number of good career opportunities for women." That's got to be a parody statement, right? I mean, since when has gyrating while mostly undressed in front of excited basketball fans a "good career opportunity for women"?

I have a teenage daughter, and outside of professional sports, I can't think of any career fields that are closed to her. If she chooses a career that involves exposing her body as she suggestively dances for the enjoyment of an audience, I will have failed as a father. Thankfully, unlike some of the NBA's female dancers, my daughter is aware that she has many good career opportunities available to her and has shown zero interest in allowing herself to be sexually objectified.

Look, I'm going to let my Puritan flag fly a bit and publicly declare that I'm all for NBA teams getting rid of female dance squads. I am morally opposed to the objectification of women (and men, for that matter). I'm aware that however this plays out, my voice will be condemned on all sides as oppressive and sexist and homophobic and transphobic and Islamophobic and whatever other phobias leftists can make up. Because of that, I'm going to allow myself the luxury of sitting back and chuckling to myself while I watch the unintended consequences of the #MeToo movement and the push for diversity play out.

To that end, I'd like to offer a piece of advice to all sides in this fight over who gets to be sexually objectified and who doesn't: It's simple. Have all the men who are on the "hype" teams identify as women. That way, everyone wins. Feminists get to declare a victory because only "women" will continue to be sexually objectified. Men also earn a victory because, once again, in this strange era where a circle can be a square, it will be demonstrated that men make better "women" then women do. Fathers of daughters will win because it will greatly decrease the odds that their buddies will ogle their daughter while at the game. Daughters will win because it will "force" them to pursue other career paths — you know, career paths like doctor, businesswoman, or even POTUS.

I wish the left would hurry up and devour itself so that we can move past all of this stupidity.