Louis CK's Audience Must Be Punished

Last weekend, disgraced comedian Louis CK made a surprise appearance at the Skankfest comedy festival in Brooklyn. It was bad enough that the fallen funnyman dared to show his face in public, after being banished from society in 2017 for sexcrime. But what happened next was simply unacceptable.

The crowd cheered for him.

Cheered.

Let that sink in.

Now the festival's venue, Brooklyn Bazaar, has reacted to this hate crime on their premises:

Regarding Louis CK’s appearance at Brooklyn Bazaar the other night:

We would like to state that this was a surprise appearance and that the venue had no prior knowledge that his performance would occur. By the time he was brought through the side entrance by promoters and put on stage, it was too late for our staff to stop it. Management felt stopping it may put our staff in danger because of the large crowd. This event was a rental of the space by outside promoters. Our Music Programming department and their affiliates had no hand in managing the booking of this event. It was done directly with the Venue and not through them. We would first like to apologize to our community and staff for what occurred, and we would also like to apologize to the Music Department because they have put a lot of effort into making Brooklyn Bazaar a safe space with diverse programming. We will make sure to be more clear when discussing our guidelines and policies with outside events and to vet these events more thoroughly in general in the future.

This humiliating plea for forgiveness is a good start, but a venue distancing itself from a member of the unclean caste isn't enough. We can't just forget what happened here. This is what we need to do next:

Every single person who cheered for Louis CK needs to be tracked down and forced to publicly apologize.

Stop laughing. This isn't funny. Louis CK is now an unperson. You can no longer applaud him or enjoy his comedy hate speech. If you insist on supporting an enemy of the people, there will be consequences. You will be punished. Your life will be upended. If you care about your future, you will keep your excitement and happiness to yourself when presented with the verboten.

"Well, if you don't like Louis CK, don't listen to him. You can't tell other people what they should and shouldn't laugh at." We hear that a lot from fascists, don't we? They think hate speech is free speech, and they don't think they need to do what they're told. But they'll learn. They will be corrected.

Today you're cheering for an unapproved comedian. Tomorrow you're marching with tiki torches and tweeting dank memes. The day after that, you're annexing the Sudetenland. These people must be controlled before the fascism spreads.

Does this include you, Dear Reader? Let's try a simple test: If the following Louis CK joke makes you laugh or amuses you in any way, you must turn yourself in for reeducation.

"If you ever masturbate in front of someone, ask them first. If they say yes, don't do it!"

Did you pass the test? Did you resist the bad urge? You'd better hope so, fascist.

Your right to laugh at a comedian ends where my right to not be offended by anything, ever, begins. Comedy is now #cancelled.

All hail our new kween!