Joe Biden's Latest Pitch to Voters: He Owns a Dog—and Trump Doesn't

If you're having a tough time finding a reason to vote for Joe Biden, don't worry about it. Joe can't seem to figure it out either.

Hey, do you have a pet? Do you like cats and/or dogs? Do you have very little idea what's been going on in American history for the past decade or so? Then you're the target audience for Joe's latest pitch:

Biden 2020: Well, At Least He Has a Dog!

Yeah, that's... something. You might say things on the Biden campaign are going... ruff! Joe's in a tough... spot! But if pet ownership ends up being the deciding factor, today's the day everything changes.

I guess Trump doesn't like dogs, or just doesn't want one as a pet? And it's pretty weird that he's always talking about firing people "like dogs." I've never seen a dog get fired, so I have no frame of reference. Maybe it makes sense. But he's not a big fan of dogs, apparently. Although he did give a nice shout-out to the awesome pooch that helped chase down al-Baghdadi.

But hey, I'm sure Joe's dog is good too! Not "killing terrorists" good, but pretty good.

I can't hate anybody who loves dogs. I'm not gonna vote for him, but I don't hate him.

Speaking of presidential candidates and dogs, anybody remember this?

Everything worked out fine for that guy, right? Once they knew he liked dogs, he had it made.

Like the old saying goes, "If you want a friend in Washington, get a dog." And if you want anybody to vote for you because you have a dog, get a clue.