How the Principal Stole Christmas: 'I MUST Stop this Christmas from Coming! But HOW?'
A Nebraska principal channeled her inner Grinch this week and was placed on leave as a result.
And the more the Grinch thought of this Who Christmas Sing,
The more the Grinch thought, "I must stop this whole thing!"
"Why, for fifty-three years I've put up with it now!"
"I MUST stop this Christmas from coming! But HOW?"
Principal Jennifer Sinclair of Manchester Elementary School in Elkhorn, Neb., figured the best way to accomplish this goal was to issue an edict in the name of being "inclusive and culturally sensitive." According to USA Today, Sinclair "banned Christmas-related items – including candy canes, reindeer and the traditional Christmas colors red and green."
Then he got an idea! An awful idea!
THE GRINCH GOT A WONDERFUL, AWFUL IDEA!
"I know just what to do!" The Grinch laughed in his throat.
And he made a quick Santy Claus hat and a coat.
And he chuckled, and clucked, "What a great Grinchy trick!"
"With this coat and this hat, I look just like Saint Nick!"
Needless to say, Sinclair made a decidedly awful Saint Nick. She also made an absolute ass of herself by listing some of the "banned" items:
The memo at times includes explanations for why certain items were disallowed:
Elf on the Shelf – that's Christmas-related
Candy Cane – that's Christmas-related. Historically, the shape is a "J" for Jesus. The red is for the blood of Christ, and the white is a symbol of his resurrection. This would also include different colored candy canes
Red/Green items – traditional Christmas colors
According to USA Today, the Smithsonian has debunked the notion that candy canes are religious in nature. "The religious symbolism referenced was likely popularized after forms of candy canes were already common holiday treats," the paper reported.
Then he slithered and slunk, with a smile most unpleasant,
Around the whole room, and he took every present!
Pop guns! And bicycles! Roller skates! Drums!
Checkerboards! Tricycles! Popcorn! And plums!
And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Grinch, very nimbly,
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney!
One gets the feeling that Sinclair would have been perfectly at home with the idea of ripping presents from the hands of children.
This is America. If you want to celebrate Christmas as a religious holiday, you can do that. If you want to celebrate it as a secular holiday, you can do that. If you want to celebrate Christmas as both a secular and religious holiday, you can do that too.
But what Sinclair is banning is the idea that Christmas means many things to many people. Many schools have absolutely no hesitation in recognizing the Muslim holiday of Eid al-Adha. But that's not being "inclusive and culturally sensitive," is it? Sure it is. Eid is a holiday for the culturally oppressed and recognizing it in schools is only being "inclusive."
If you object to that, it's obvious that the political correctness gene is missing from your brain.
Sinclair was placed on leave pending a full investigation. Will she change her mind?
And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be so?"
"It came with out ribbons! It came without tags!"
"It came without packages, boxes or bags!"
And he puzzled three hours, till his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn't before!
"Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store."
"Maybe Christmas...perhaps...means a little bit more!"