Four Reasons Marianne Williamson Will Be the 46th POTUS

So far, the only good thing about the 2020 presidential campaign has been discovering Marianne Williamson. She only spoke for a few minutes during her first(!) presidential debate, but she made a big impression:

She's fantastic! Not enough presidential candidates talk about the healing power of love. And it's about time America stood up to New Zealand.

I've decided that Marianne Williamson is going to win in 2020, and here are a few of the excuses I'm using to rationalize my ridiculous claim.

1. She can dance. Remember who the Dems nominated in 2016? Remember her dancing? Here, look at her dancing. Look at it.

This dancing is not good. It is the opposite of good. When you see it, all you want is to have seen less of it. Hillary Clinton cannot dance, and in 2020 she paid for it at the ballot box.

Now compare that with Marianne Williamson's dancing:

Elegant. Graceful. Lithe. Full of genuine happiness and self-confidence. She's everything Hillary isn't. That's my kinda POTUS! (Also unlike Hillary, the sound of her voice is pleasant. That could be a whole other category, but I don't want to listen to Hillary's voice anymore today.)

2. She says lots of things that connect with the American people. Since Williamson's big night last week, a lot of people are catching up on her tweets. They are very, very interesting.

I agree with everything she's saying here, except maybe the stuff about Avatar. She's good at Twitter. You know who else is good at Twitter? That guy you like so much (or so little) in the White House. His tweets helped put him there. So will hers!

3. She's hot. Marianne Williamson isn't just hot for a 66-year-old woman, she's just plain hot-hot. Have we ever really had a hot president? I know a lot of people said this guy, but I never saw it. No offense to President Trump, but Marianne is way hotter. Time for an upgrade!

4. I don't think she can win, and I'm wrong about everything. You guys know how terrible I am at predicting things. I completely botched the 2016 election, and if anything, since then I've only gotten dumber. So if my gut feeling is that Marianne Williamson doesn't have a chance in hell... she's a shoo-in!

As for the rest of the women running for president? Sorry, ladies. #WeStan4Marianne!