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Eco-Groups Push for 'Vegan Electricity,' Free from Animal Byproducts

Near the  mouth of the North Sea Canal (Dutch: Noordzeekanaal) which leads to Amsterdam. There is a single wind turbine. The sky is overcast and there is a large white cloud of smoke from the factories.

No, you did not accidentally click on The Onion or the Babylon Bee. Yes, vegan electricity is now a thing. Ain't capitalism grand? I mean, capitalism has solved so many real problems and now it's solving made-up problems.

Prior to reading the HuffPost article titled "The Dirty Secret in Your Electricity: Animals" I had no idea that animal byproducts are used in the production of electricity. And I had no idea because I had literally never thought about it. Or cared. Still don't. But some people care. Deeply, in fact.

Before delving into the "solution," you should probably be made aware of the "problem" So, to that end, you should know:

Most of the electricity in countries like the U.S. and the U.K comes from burning fossil fuels. Renewables such as wind power, as well as nuclear energy, likewise feature in the mix. But energy can also be derived from breaking down animal byproducts, like poultry poop, and even whole animals, into gas that can be burned.

In fact, it gets "worse," because, "In December, the U.K newspaper The Times reported that British energy firm SSE had sold energy generated at Scotland’s Barkip power station using dead farmed salmon unfit for human consumption."

To be fair, "A spokesperson for SSE told HuffPost the company was unable to confirm whether diseased salmon had definitely been used to generate electricity because the Barkip station 'just takes waste to save it going to landfill,' but said it would be 'fair to assume it took fish carcasses at one point.'"

Now that you've been acquainted with the dastardly "problem" of non-vegan electricity, I'm sure that you'll be relieved to learn about the "solution." Thankfully, concerned people are finally taking a stand in the defense of diseased salmon that may or may not be used to power things like the lights in children's hospitals or homeless shelters or -- *gasp* -- the kennels in humane societies. As animal rights activist Lex Rigby told HuffPost, "Those who chose not to eat fish, whether for ethical or welfare reasons, would be 'disgusted' to discover that energy providers had used sick fish to produce energy."

That concern for sick fish has created the market for vegan electricity.

According to Ecotricity's website, they are "the only energy company recognised by The Vegan Society for supplying and generating our own vegan electricity."

With over 200,000 customers, Ecotricity guarantees that the power they provide is only generated through the wind or by the sun, and with no sick fish involved.

Sadly, that market only exists in the U.K., for now. No doubt some enterprising capitalist in the United States will jump on the bandwagon of vegan electricity in order to separate leftists from their money. Repeating my question from above, ain't capitalism grand?