Dem Pollster: 'We're Kind of Just in the Bed-Wetting Phase Now'

All over America, Democrats are waking in cold sweats in the middle of the night, terrorized by nightmares that look like the election of 2016. There's a must-read article at Politico, "Democrats traumatized by 2016 are having pre-term nightmares," detailing all the angsty jitters our neighbors are going through.

Haunted by memories of 2016, liberals around the country are riven with anxiety in the campaign’s homestretch. They’re suspicious of favorable polls and making election night contingency plans in case their worst fears come true. Some report literal nightmares about a Democratic wipeout.

Who could forget the breathless predictions by Nate Silver that Hillary Clinton had a 71.4 percent chance of winning? They're not wrong to be concerned that Silver says the Democrats have an 86 percent chance of taking the House. It's telling that Democrats are starting to doubt their own pollsters.

“We're kind of just in the bed-wetting phase now," said Democratic pollster John Anzalone, a Hillary Clinton campaign alumnus who spent election night 2016 in Clinton’s Manhattan war room.

It's beginning to feel a little wrong to continue laughing at these people, but we must persevere if only to try and get across the message that it's only politics! You win some and you lose some, but no matter what, you don't have a mental breakdown on television. I can absolutely guarantee that if the Republicans lose the House or the Senate or both, there will not be people in MAGA hats screaming at the sky.

We do need to continue pointing out the absolute madness of this behavior in the hopes of shaming them into being better losers. If you can't lose graciously, you can't be a good winner either. And it's certain the left hasn't learned this lesson yet.

Anzalone said the shock of Donald Trump’s upset victory, which was missed by most forecasts, still hangs over many in the party. “There’s some PTSD,” he said.

That is not an exaggeration. A study published last month in the Journal of American College Health found that one-quarter of college students experienced “clinically significant” symptoms of trauma from the 2016 election results.

It is worth noting that anyone who suffers significant mental trauma over losing an election should probably not be in charge of anything more important than a hot dog stand. Perhaps not surprisingly, the college kids are going out of their way to avoid triggering their fellow veterans of the Great Election War of 2016.

At Vassar College in upstate New York, the college Democrats are moving their results-watching party to a new venue over concerns that revisiting the scene of their 2016 letdown would be too upsetting for some students, according to a member of the group. At Brown University in Rhode Island, the College Democrats have taken the same precaution after experiencing a “collective flashback” to Trump’s victory during a discussion of election night planning.

I hope they've stocked up enough Play-Doh and bubbles for the safe-space crowd.

“There's this feeling that we're losing until we win," said Levin, who has visited with activists campaigning across the country. “None of them I talked to is confident and planning on a win,” he said. “Every one of them doesn't trust the polls, doesn't trust that this is in the bag.”

For Democrats like these, haunted by “the ghosts of 2016,” Anzalone predicted that “Tuesday will be an exorcism.”

Finally! Someone recognized the need for an exorcist for Democrat voters! While I'm not making any predictions for Tuesday's results, I'm sleeping pretty well. In New York, the bluest of blue states, Republican Congressman Chris Collins, who was arrested for insider trading, should be polling way behind Democrat challenger Nate McMurray. Except he's ahead by 3 points. People are more willing to vote for a criminal than a Democrat... in New York. This race shouldn't be tight at all. While Collins might not win, the fact that he's still ahead while out on bail should tell people something.

It should also send shivers of dread down the spines of the #Resisters to see the size of Trump's rally crowds in professional sports stadiums versus the size of Joe Biden's "rally" in half of a high school gym. They call this "momentum"? (I spoke to an alumnus of the Ohio high school photographed and he confirmed that the pictured part of the gym was about one-fourth the size of the available space.)

And make no mistake about it. Trump is on the ballot again and the #MAGA crowd knows it. Unfortunately for the left, the only things we like better than Trump are crying Democrats on TV.* So get your tissues ready, sweethearts! Tuesday is coming at you fast!

*The only thing we would like better than crying, screeching Democrats is to go back to the time when we could all be Americans — separate from who we voted for — and not be at constant war with each other or worried that half of you are either going to punch us for wearing red caps or need therapy and medication for the rest of your lives. Please snap out of it!