Basketball Player Uses Girlfriend's Urine to Fake Drug Test, Finds Out He's Pregnant
Well, this is both awkward and a solid entry for a Darwin Award. A basketball player attempting to return to the game after a hiatus found a way to spectacularly fail his drug test and get some family news at the same time.
The New York Post:
D.J. Cooper, a former Ohio University star who’s played professionally in Europe, is currently suspended by FIBA after using someone else’s urine for a doping test — a sample which showed Cooper was pregnant, according to Eurohoops.net.
Cooper, 28, was interested in joining Bosnia as a naturalized player. Specifically, Cooper tested positive for human chorionic gonadotropin (hCG), which is produced during pregnancy by the placenta. The urine allegedly belonged to Cooper’s girlfriend, according to RTV Slovenia.
It’s unclear what Cooper might have been trying to hide, but it stands to reason he wouldn’t have used his girlfriend’s urine had they known she was pregnant.
Does it really stand to reason though? If you connect the dots from what the couple had to have been doing to get pregnant in the first place to the decision to use her urine and what stands to reason is that reason wasn't used at all.
That is, of course, unless the child isn't his.
If that's the case, this story might be enough to get Jerry Springer to revive his old show for at least one episode.
That really is all I can write about this story without getting kicked off of the internet. Looking forward to the happy couple's gender reveal party.